my last bone of contention

i have a great love for life, i do
i do i do i do
it is just that my present circumstances are only less than satisfactory
but there is a lot to look forward to and i would never forgive myself if i even remotely desired to have everything end
right now i feel frozen in place, is all
i cannot move
and everything i do feels wrong
i am up against a thing greater than me and i am as of yet very much stuck
it is not something i can remedy with physical effort or diligence
or something i can speak with very pragmatically
or something i can dispose off with frivolity
it is stuck to me, and i to it
i don't know what to do

maybe a little later

let me put on a show for you, daddy

i am such a farce
farcity farcity farce and an overall sham
i hope everyone realises this and rids their lives of me to save themselves from being deceived
nothing about me is real
i am so gross

how could a goddess

i was thinking about the four books i am in the midst of reading
so there is a lot of book jumping
(which i've never quite allowed myself to do)
here they are:
Death and The King's Horseman, Wole Soyinka
this is much less a book than a play, really, but it is one of my lit texts and i have to get it read by tomorrow
i suppose you can say this is obligatory reading, but it isn't that bad a read
Bilingual : life and reality, Fraņcois Grosjean
Beatrice and Virgil, Yann Martel
i am reading it because a friend recommended it to me, and i owe her for that
i think people remember him for Life of Pi which i have read 0 times, but i know him for Self which i picked up in sec 2 and still remember it to this day v vividly bc it is about a man who wakes up one day to find he has become a woman and it was such an odd read but i think i liked it
The Tale of Desperaux, Kate DiCamillo

well it's been a long day but i did ok
i'm going to sit down and maybe finish off my Beatrice and Virgil
goodnight

ok "ok" is an understatement but i feel too tired to overplay things

dies ist der erste gloria

i can feel my reading interests changing.
today i picked up a book on bilingualism and i feel so very excited to get it read.
but recently i tried a bit of tfios and i couldn't get past chapter three when i know that maybe 1.5 years ago i would probably have wolfed it down.