your skin so golden brown

a list of my favourite words:
- exquisite
- rose (past tense of rise)
- pregnant (as a metaphor)
- sapphic
- nascent
- delicious (when used not about food)
- honey
- ferocious
- mom
- moon
- opulent/opulence
- soft
- sleepy
- infuse
- lazily
- loll
- bathe
- patio
- dreamy
- courtyard
- drowse
- ennui

honourable mentions:
- wife
- poetic
- heaven(ly)
- verdant/verdance
- goodness

poetic but nonsensical

from 19 june 2014:
she says i live in my own bubble and we go around together like that because we are the same
so i said to her we could converge them
she said back that we could

i want to scrape the blackness out my heart

shiver like i used to

I'm that godforsaken person who never knows what they have till it's gone.
I've thought about this loads and loads and I can't possibly deny it.
It's in the little(?) things.
When I'm sending someone off at the airport and feel nothing until they've gone past the departure gates, the waves of crashing loss only coming when they're well out of sight.
Or when it's the very last day of school and I know I'll never be coming back again but it's the most uneventful day all the same (intense nostalgia seeps in much much later).
Or when I race through the last 3 episodes of Haikyuu!! S2 only to realise belatedly that the comforting feeling of knowing there are episodes waiting for me is then gone forever, because for many months I've been taking it for granted and now there is nothing new to look forward to anymore.

I think it's something to do with me and emotional detachment.