they don't know what we do best

Yay weekend.

But busy one. Busy weekend. Busy.

idk. 

:(

At least I fell sick over the week so I had one day of rest....

.......which I spent stressing over the dossier due the same day.....

.........whose deadline got extended............

...................................

i just

So anyway.

Things to do today

1) dossier

2) PC stuff?

3) PW stuff?

4) Study for econs test??

5) ????

Well I also thought of immersing myself with ~larry things~ this weekend but oh look where the time went!

Also because I have not read any fanfics for a good 2 weeks that is an achievement, really.

Oh well.

Let me just leave you with this.

It is absolutely brilliant xx

you should see them

I’m mesmerized by this.
This gives me feels for some reason. I don’t only see plain yaoi here. But so much more. Love, intimacy, trust, it seems simple but yet so expressive.
All this without showing the things. I can’t help but respect this artist’s work very very much right now.

"without showing the things."

 yes. 

Well it's 1.27am and I've just had my shower after finishing my PI.
Good job Audi I am proud of you.
Now let's hope you really fall sick tomorrow 4 hours later so you may have some rest and time.
Because I've been feeling so terrible today.
Siiigh.

 (I actually still have some lit to do.)

let me put my books down

Today I wrote my first poem and oh god.
My little baby.
I've tried writing some uncountable times before but all they've accomplished is my mocking laughter because no.
This one, though, this one.
I can never put into words what I felt when it was finished.
It came to me during Math and.
oh god.
it just happened.

let me cradle you my pretty little baby.

all that crazy lizard skin shit

or THIS is my safe place.
or.

i wanna hold you, wanna hold you tight

Oh deaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr.............

*princessy sigh*

(See 'cause I have no idea how else to phrase it.)

I am going to unlock this again but first I'll have to delete some of the shit posts I wrote that make no sense but by god there's so many and where do I even start.

I give up with deleting all of them and what you will see is just a tiny piece of what really happened when I was kinda MIA.

Though I locked it also because I am embarrassed of how much and how often I think of 1d js.

So there.
Have fun.

hold me, love me

Oh my god I feel terrible.
This is also not full-scale sick.
It's just that bad sore throat that foretells a really bad cold.
No but I wanted to fall sick today so I wouldn't have to go for a seminar which not only I didn't sign up for, but took away my chances of going for SC Family Day.
(I tried my hardest to fall sick last Friday night; took a cold shower and slept with AC on 23 degrees and before you ask, yes I was that desperate.)
Thank you Anis for getting a cold Thursday and having sick germs I could borrow.
You see, if I couldn't go for Family Day, I'm not going to let that seminar get the satisfaction of seeing me going for something I don't want to go for aka doing something against my will.
So I created the third option that is to be ill and I think it's safe to say my mission was/is a complete success because here's my MC.
I am amazing.
And also in the process of potentially falling real ill, but that's another story altogether.
I guess.

or anyone or anything

Okay I have to admit Taylor's music is..okay..
But I still do not like her okay never will and this time I mean it I know myself.
*wonders if I should put her album in my phone*

they don't know us

Oh god I hate One Direction so much they ruined my life you ruined my life life-ruiners I am so angry how can my life be so dependent on supporting the secret relationship of two band members in a band don't worry I don't get it either how can my moods change so much when I see idiots not believing it is a real relationship i dpnt know i cant i can thelp me im on my period too question is will i delete this post or not i was supposed to not delete it but u see it died into incoherencey and no i ave to delete it now i guess i am soi  angry i hate these assholes.

so i just listened to one way or another VERY loudly on my earpieces and sang along.
twice.
and felt instantly better.

i dont know what this says about me.

have you ever had days where you find that theres no more food in the kitchen so you sit in your room and start crying because dammit you wanted that mug of cereal.
yeah that day is today.

dammit i wanted that mug of cereal.

aww how cute.
what did you mean by "come" though, louis?
(◡‿◡✿)

love is my drug

im sorry :)
but :)
if :) you think :)
these :)



are :) hobbies :)

  

of :)



platonic :)



best :) friends :)









oh wait my bad you're right there is absolutely nothing suspicious about all this nope you're right HARRY ADN LOUIIS ARE COMPLETLY STARIGHT!!!111!!!

im sorry but if you cannot tell that louis and harry are not, in fact, 100% straight, i will have trouble trusting you and your opinions.

maybe i should die a little (◡‿◡✿)

louis girl.
definitely a louis girl.

get out of my head (seriously)

It's 12AM and CHannel[V] is playing a One Direction playlist and I am nOT OKAY.

Oh hell these 5 idiotic morons will be the death of me.

Thank God they stopped putting girls in their mvs.
They probably realised the boys looked more in love with each other than the girls.

there's a time and a place to die

I'm scared.

Plot twist: I'm homophobic.

the good thing about pre-recorded lectures is that at least you can throw in your own shut-uuuup and can-we-not and i-dont-wanna-do-this and how-about-no remarks anytime you want without disrupting anyone else.

you see the truth of the matter is that if you even attempt to convince me that larry stylinson isnt real i will hate you.

one direction literally ruined my life.

my social life is in shambles,
ive become even more socially awkward,
i cant focus on my schoolwork,
idk what else they want from me.

i love hbl week.
you get to be productive and you get to be alone.

though i think i should wake up earlier if i want to do more work..

freaked out hearing wmyb on the radio.
you dont freak out over such a fetus song if youre not a directioner...

#theysaythefirststeptoovercomingaproblemisadmittingyouhaveone

econs is jc version of human geog and bio
(i like these subjects but completely cmi)
math is advanced a-math
lit is lit
gp is jc ss
french is french
idk what to do

Today I made my first ever jump to get to a tile on the rock-climbing wall.
It was scary, but I managed it after a few tries.
I wish I had the grace of a lithe climber, but for now I will have to learn to do away with my clumsy, disjointed moves.

its like when the blog is locked away i become not me which is stupid because this is me acting the way i do when nobodys around so this is the real me but it is not and so i wonder if my projected self has been a lie all along and i get confused and lost because who am i what am i i will never know and its killing me.
im sorry.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh coexist is beautiful

wrapping myself with all this comfort and warmth and being the good kind of alone.

close my eyes and drift away

Today is going to be a good day and I am absolutely not going to let anyone take that away from me without my permission.