Sunday, September 11, 2011

When you're gone.

Ah, holidays are over and.
And I am not satisfied with myself.
Siiigh goodness me.
This past holiday was sooo.
Wow.

Why do I even bother with you because you so obviously don't care.
I feel like a fool again because it's me, me, me and it will always be.
SO stupid.
I still am trying to find myself and my place in this world.
Man, my train of thought is just so very different.
Why!
I wish you would bother.
I wish you would care.
I wish you would just be as different as I always think you would be.
Because yes, most definitely, you are the person I trust the most outside family, even if, I don't know, we are not really that close.
So dumb, right?
Because I am just making myself vulnerable that way.
And you so obviously do not feel the same way.
Because I am just another person, right?
That's too bad because you are NOT just another person to me.
That really sucks.
Why and how come I always care most about people who do not care about me?
It is so freaking unfair.
And I feel so messed up.
Talk to me soon please, I feel so insecure.

Right, end of incoherent balderdash.
Goodnight gonna sleep now.
Am SUCH a freak.

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