In the midst of all this flurry and anxiety and self-doubt, I think I might have found Something Great.
Last week has been the first week of 'self-study' (NOT TRUE considering how there are all these lectures and consultations to go for tbh) and it has also been a period of grossly fluctuating emotions, but I honestly think I emerged from it even more glorious than before.
Let me first tell you of how I was terribly snappy and ill-humoured last Tuesday, and the littlest of things brought me easily to a great state of annoyance. But my FRIENDS, they were so accommodating and kind and DARLING. (This is going to be a reminder for me to never forget that I have great friends.) Angst pal Nichole and Audrey's happy pill blueberries and great listening ear Diana and idk man GOOD VIBES.
I feel like the past 2 years have been very blessed in the sense that I have never ever ever had reason to feel insecure about any of the relationships I had. Absolutely 0 cause for worry - everyone is genuinely amicable and supportive and so, so positive. And I really do like my class for how chill everyone is with pretty much everyone, despite the occasional nuisances. I have never had to worry if someone secretly hates me (a stupid and regrettably common tendency) because cmon, let's face it. No one has time to hate anyone. We're all too good for that; everyone is too good. And I adore how we still respect/embrace individual quirks?? I got so lucky goddamn. It's been helpful for me and my emotional growth, I think.
Okay so here's the next Good Thing about my week: Ovulation Glow. I woke up on Friday feeling inexplicably radiant and buoyant-hearted and so stupidly good about myself. But I did look hella good, damn it. It lasted the whole day and I looked and felt heavenly with a golden glow and forgiving hair and the sweet sense of self-worth.
Got through the day exceedingly well, did up my coursework, went for a consultation, etc. Basically I was being productive while looking/feeling fucking amazing and that was such a rare thing to happen and goddamn goddamn goddamn.
I love ovulation glows and this one turned my whole week on its head for the absolute better - it created Self-Love Weekend. Because the following morning I woke up and was still glowing, and it gave rise to so many angelic selfies and now you have to guess how many I've posted on Tumblr/Twitter. (A considerable lot.) Now I have the best twitter pic/header combi imaginable and you should probably maybe totally check it out. (best seen on mobile xo)
And people were so good, and I was so good and I am going to keep working and feeling good about myself and try not to worry anymore.
(A very quiet little shout-out to everyone who favourited and/or reblogged my dumb face: Janelle and Bat and Shu Yu and Scheiße!!!!, i see you, and i appreciate it soooo much)
Also, my general mood has improved by leaps and bounds ever since I started singing and/or humming to myself everywhere I go.
(absolute best way to live, 10/10 would always recommend)
This is new to me, y'know? This might just be the year I start to properly love myself as I am, and for now everything looks promising and everything feels really good.
cool life tip: when u get a rare burst of passionate self-love, take a hundred selfies, praise urself always, look in the mirror and beam at everyone, milk it for all it's worth
(filed under: tweets i will never publish bc they're too goddamn long)
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