but we sure make it feel like we're together

The mournful moment when you've found your soul mate and know that parting is inevitable.

lost my discretion

don't mean I'm in love tonight.
you're my experimental game.

Oh.
This sounds wrong, doesn't it.

in the middle of nowhere

You know it got to you when you feel sad that your own bottle of avocado Pantene conditioner doesn't make you feel loved like your sister's mandarin & pearls Herbal Essences one does.

smdh.

it should come on a cone

So OBVIOUSLY I opted for the cup of coffee.

don't we do this everyday?

I feel so burned out but ya know what it's better to be burnt out now and sleep well during O level period.

I can't feel burnt out now, like I mean, how can I even..

Okay I cannot.

I just..cannot.

Goodnight.

This isn't good.

I've got to learn to lose emotions, the achy feelings, and the love for superfluous things and to keep the focus on a point.

No more thinking or creative thoughts or whatever.

Okay, 'cause I can't be having epiphanies that will disrupt EVERYTHING and all that jazz & stuff.

Right, so I'll need to get used to this feeling tired and not caring and speaking like..like an average, boring person with limited vocabulary or other monotonous things like that, and writing all the time.

And whatever else people do to excel.

[You see the irony, tho(ugh)? Do ya?!]

catch rec on recreation

Drop it to the floor, make that ass shake.

Make the ground move, that's an ass quake.

Build a house up on that ass, that's an ass state.

Roll my weed on it, that's an ass tray.

Build a house up on that ass, that's an ass state.

Build a house up on that ass, that's an ass state.

Build a house... that's an ass state.

Say whut??

Woah do you get that?

I only got that today.

Do you get that?

Do ya??

Do ya?!!?!!

I give her that D, 'cause that's where I was born and raised in.

Really, tho.

Did ya get that?!

like my name was that bitch

Holy crap found my motivation yesterday.

That means I'm on a roll and >80% of my time will go to my lessons.

That means I'm not gonna have time for the "Beauty of the World" or whatever.

That means I'm gonna be living on coffee or some whack thing like that.

That means I'm gonna be some messed-up bitch ass hoe for the next 4/5/6 weeks.

That means I'm not gonna be a kind, subdued thing or whatever I would LIKE to be.

And I'm gonna be NOT myself.

Yeah, okay.

But like..holy shit.

holy craps & epiphanies

That must be the first title in months that came from me.

But really, what and why.

Today I said holy crap at least 10 times.

And those damn epiphanies.

I knew they were brilliant.

But they came when I was half-asleep (which was probably because last night I stayed up and I shouldn't have and.. urgh.) and when I was zapped awake (hell yes 'zapped' when do I ever use that word answer is IDK but you know I go by instinct) because in those moments everything was so clear, they went away.

Oh great. Wonderful.

I knew they were brilliant.

They were about people and human relationships and human rights and.

And they were brilliant!

There was a great one during break when I was so knocked out and I was getting it so good and then my lovely desk partner shook me awake screaming madly and then it flew out the window and now I can't remember what was so brilliant about it, just that it was.

I am delirious right now can't you tell.

or do you not think so far ahead?

And so being young and dipped in folly I fell in love with melancholy.

-Edgar Allen Poe

I've been thinking about forever

Thinkin Bout You is really my song right now.

Ahhhh.

Why do I feel so sad.

Yes, of course, I remember, how could I forget, how you feel?

You know you were my first time, a new feel.

a tornado flew around my room

This is so beautiful.
I can already feel the swells.
It is good to write to.

No, I don't like you, I just thought you were cool enough to kick it.
I don't love you, I just thought you were cute, that's why I kissed you.

no church in the wild

Human beings in a mob.

What's a mob to a king?

What's a king to a god?
What's a god to a non-believer?

Who don't believe in anything?

drug dealer chic

I am still thinking of my French prelims.

If I get an A for those, then I can get what is coveted for the real thing.

thanksgiving disguised as a feast

I want Watch The Throne.

And Strange Clouds.

And ORA.

And Channel Orange.

tears on the mausoleum floor

I would want to discover a bit more, delve a little deeper in their music.

Jay-Z? Kanye? Lil Wayne?

Those who are emerging.

Big Sean, Wiz Khalifa, 2 Chainz?

J. Cole? Tyga?

The ones much less unknown.

Frank Ocean, Nas?

There's so much I want to broach.

And I adore Frank Ocean.

His singing is amazing.

His spirit and strength is glorious.

Also, he is exorbitantly cute.

(Stop it, Frank, stop it! Stop it!!)

Deep sigh.

What a crush.

capture my soul

I have a Build-a-Bear now.

Do you hear?

A Build-a-Bear!

They got me one after all, and I am so amused.

The bear, it is perfect.

She has such large, intelligent eyes.

So pretty.

So very, very pretty.

And now I feel as if I ought to care for it as if she were a real child.

It/Her, I am so disoriented.

But she is very pretty and I do so like her.

I found the movie for Pride & Prejudice.

How absolutely thrilling.

It was marked $12.90 but the girl at the cashier revealed a further discount that lowered the price to about $10.

I was/am so delighted.

I got myself 4 books too, on Friday.

Carrefour is closing down soon so we just went there to see what there is.

I found a shelf full of books going at $3 each.

And they were beautiful books too, with lovely covers and promising stories.

(I am looking forward so much to The Turn of The Screw by Henry James. Ghost stories are great stuff.)

Though they would have to wait..

I am still immensely thrilled with my hoard.

92.4 has beautiful symphonies at night.

Their night-time picks are such calming things.

Like lullabies.

Ahh the pleasures of being a romantic.

It is not difficult to be happy, really, because you can find contentment easily in almost anything.

Oh hell.

Fancies & whimsies again that will never come into existence.

but life's so much better like this.

i wish it were so.

i wish it were so.

direction.

and I used to say "never say never"

The funny, odd moment when you find a little origami crane silver charm laid so unassumingly on the dressing table and it belongs to nobody and you know this because you asked each one of them and they said no, they haven't ever seen it and you haven't too but it is just there, much like a kind, anonymous gift.

And don't origami cranes stand for luck and well wishes?

this city is infiite

Hurrah!
Tomorrow my two little cousins are coming over for a sleepover!
During the day they are going Build-a-Bear shopping with my sisters and little brother and I am insanely jealous.
But it is a fine thing for them to come and I am quite excited.

It is a yellow night sky outside and that means it will rain.
The lightning storm is already starting.