paranoid of espionage

I feel like I'm at a loss, like I don't know what to do with myself, like.

(I know, I know. Stop using 'like', like I get it.)

I feel empty.

Yes, that's it.!

Empty.

And you know what.

I feel as if I will die young.

Or maybe I won't, but honestly.

Death.

I don't even know what I want to do before I die.

Maybe I'd just live unceremoniously.

And I don't even know if I used that word right.