can't risk losing in love again

Ok.
So today has been an odd day.
(maybe because I spent it reading this infidelity fic
I have fuckin love-hate relationships with infidelity fics I swear
fuck
like
if it is captured and portrayed right
the whole concept of infidelity
grazes you in a lot of ways
and the pain it leaves behind both stings and fascinates)
I have this rant draft saved but it is choppy and disjointed and ugh.
it is too raw and it doesn't make sense.
so it will go unpublished, I suppose.
um but I just want to say this.
that
once again I have no fuckin idea why I care about one direction at all
like I really don't
it is an aggressive self-inquisition
but most days I put it aside
just
I have really vehement opinions on them okay.
like fangirling aside
I can quite literally have a proper sit-down with tea and all
and instigate an intellectual discussion on matters revolving around this stupid-ass boyband.
and
if you are not ready to deal with them opinions
don't fucking talk to me about one direction
don't shit on me about them
don't think you know things about them that I don't because that would be an insanely foolish assumption.
don't tell me to tone it down
(although I already try to, when I talk about them, when it is brought up and I have to react)
take me seriously for fucks sake.
come to me about one direction when you have an open heart and mind
or if you want to do something else besides dry-heave over their stupidly beautiful idiotic lovable selves.
because I do like talking about them a lot without feeling inhibited.
and I just really really really really love one direction will hound you the heck down if you talk shit about them in front of my face.
this has been a Serious Thing & I hope you respect that thank u.

okay im sorry im sorry im sory im soryr i didnt mean it to coem off thsi sharp i jsut
i feel out of sorts
and
i am just going to distance myself
from this
like
walk away
from mself
ok
goodnight

in other news
i really hate the one direction twitter fandom
with a passion
fuck