Am I doing better?

Sec 3.

I don't know.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

I mean.

My Chem improved by leaps and bounds.
Though I am still not satisfied.

And I suppose.
Academics are ok.

But other aspects of life.

Not so fulfilled.

):

Sigh. We have so many parent portals I honestly do not know which one to use or log into! D:

And goodness me tomorrow must bring RC uniform.

Oh well.

Barbie Basic #07-001

Ok. This may sounds pretty childish.

But I just got a Barbie Basic Doll!
I'm in love with it. (:
Because you see, despite me being almost 15 and all, my love for dolls has never quite left me.

My last doll which was really considered mine was from when I was 7.
It was a lovely brunette Cinderella doll, with a gorgeous violet ball gown. Its bodice had shimmery intricate designs, and came with chiffon long sleeves and garnitures, draped around a soft full skirt.
And she was a really beautiful doll, with dark, piercing emerald eyes, contrasting sharply with her pale snow white complexion. (I always love green eyes.) But her pretty locks were what I supposed one of her best features. They were long and wavy, an elegant shade of dark chocolate.

She had many names.
Christine, Julia, Rose, just to name a few.
I called her Christine, mostly.
But then, her head broke off.
What a bummer.
I still keep the dress, though.
That was the First Doll.

Oh. I had a second doll. The Princess Annelise one from the Princess & the Pauper. But no, I did not really like that one. /:) I was over princess dolls. (Though Christine was pure classic.)

Now, I have this doll.
The Last Doll.

Oh, she has clover green eyes too! :D

The good advice, I've always hated. But looking back, they made me greater.

Happy birthday Mama!! :D

You are the best Mom ever.

I love you!

And it's true, really.

I don't think I can ever ask for a better mom.
She's my best BFF.
Who's not a pubescent teen.
(But who can still act like one sometimes teeheehee.)
Which is a refreshing change.
(:

No no, there is no way to express my love and gratitude in words.

Thank you for all the laughs.
Thank you for all the love.
Thank you for all the mother-daughter fights.
Thank you for letting me listen to 91.3 in your car when you really want to listen to all your own cds.
Thank you for blowing up the music in your car too. (Not like in Papa's car. TT)
Thank you for introducing me to Nicki Minaj.
Thank you for being my shopping/concert pal.
Thank you for your lame yet funny jokes.
Thank you for being there.
All the time.

I love you.
Happy **th birthday. (:
(I thought you would not want your age displayed here, hahahaha.

everybody wanna try to box me in

Hopelessly in love with Nicki Minaj again.
She's just so effin awesome!
Today I realise I know the lyrics to Fly by heart.
:')
Wonderful, wonderful.

Today I woke up too, and thought.
"Hey, screw this diet. Screw it all! I'm gonna eat whatever I want to! HA! In your face!!!!!!!!!!"
So.
Goodbye, to not eating.
For the time being anyway.
I love weekends.
They're great for stocking up oneself with food.

What shall I do today?
I'm glad I have no tests next week.
So I guess I'll do all my homework today.
And slack tomorrow.
In preparation for what's to come Monday.

Months, days and weeks.
Those are the last words of every sentence in that last paragraph.
Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow.
That's what Life is made up of.
Hours, minutes, seconds.
That's all we have.

Bottomline: Better start my homework now. :P

Silly cow.

Hmmmm..
What can I say now.
I mean, I'm just trying to keep this blog alive, you know?
I have been busier(?) than usual.
Than when I was in Sec 2, at least.
:/
Ok. I seriously have nothing to say.
What a pointless post.

I disgust myself. I just HAD to do that, right? Tomorrow will be a better day. I will not let myself go over 500.

Now ima tie your coffin with a bow

I am seriously craving for the chocolate cake in a mug.
Suddenly started googling images of cake in mugs.
Omgg.
aisubvdagubvndjfbvaikudbv zxcmbvadfgv.
I must so try that soon.
UFISUKBFAIKUDKIUGBVIKSDCXJVKISD.
I WANT CAKE LIKE NOW PLEASE.

What's..what's wrong with you guys?

This isn't supposed to be happening.
I don't get what's happening, anyway.
What?
Why are you pretending to be happy?
Submissive?
Huh?
What with the '(:'s and the 'happy's, etc etc etc.
HUH??
You're not happy, no.
So why think so?
Why am I expecting sadness?
Why do I want to stay in the past?
What's wrong with me?
I have a problem.
I should go get help or something.

I found a recipe for microwave chocolate cake in a mug.
I think I might try that one day.
Maybe it will be therepeutic.
However the hell you spell that anyway.
Craving for it now after re-listening to the heavy stirring sound.
http://www.sortedfood.com/page/cakeinamug
Yum.

):

Tired.

Sigh.

Goodnight.

All I wanna do is trade this life for something new

I hate it when sometimes, I force myself to be creative.
Which is stupid.
Creativity can't be forced.
Which is even more stupid when I am forced to be that way.
When I don't feel that way.
And instead of beautiful pieces, I churn out chunks of inconsistency instead.
Which is stupid.
But not as stupid as being forced to be creative.
Which is very stupid.

waiting for the end to come, wishing I had strength to stand

Don't leave!
Why must you?
I feel lost now.
What's wrong with me?

Huh?
That's funny.
I'm laughing now.
No? It's not..?

Oh.
Sorry.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

The trees look like giant broccolis.

Or the twisted, deformed hand of something surely not human, mossy green magic spraying out, always playing with the sick demented sorcery it always obsessed with.

The roses look like fairies.

Or the sinister home to hurtful thorns, hidden beneath blankets of dark, dark red, already stained by innocent blood many times before, but still managing to lure the hopeless romantics.

And the sun!, oh the lovely sun, it looks like a golden orb!

Or, my friend, or the breath of a crazed dragon, always able to scorch the careless and unwary.

I'm sorry.

Today had been bad. Very bad indeed.
I'm sorry, I really am.
But I don't think the week's going to get any better.
)':

:C

No, I don't know what I'm saying. Too much Math, that's why.

hmmmmm. >:/

First, you talk about what song you want played on your funeral.
So I heard how very unmelancholy it sounded, and how it just didn't seem to pay enough tribute.

Next, you talk of Death.
So I think of the prospect of having beloved people gone, snatched away, trapped in the relentless grips of the Grim Reaper.

Then, you continued talking about it.
So I think about my fears. And my heart fell.

Finally, you abruptly left.
So I felt pretty stumped.

Have a good rest, I'll get back at ya.

you're so hypnotizing

Haha I think I'm in love with Katy Perry's ET. :D

Haiya, everyday also have Math homework. Bila nak game ni? D:

Psh.

3 tests. I have 3 tests this week. DDD:

WTH!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. ):

i'm ready to shoot

Dear blogwalkers,

Please. Shut. Up.

'Love',
Writer of blog

Sheesh. How many times have I blocked them already anyway? Grrr. >:(

On a positive note, I found this amazingly awesome blog, where Paris and New York City are being compared to one another using creative illustrations. You should go see! :D

http://www.parisvsnyc.blogspot.com/

It's really nice!

What I am feeling

1. Apprehension
2. Determination
3. Exhaustion
4. Fondness
5. Possessive

why must you be so adorable?!

Get ready for it, I came to win

I wish today it will rain all day
Maybe that will kinda make the pain go away
Trying to forgive you for abandoning me
Praying but I think I'm still an angel away

Angel away, yeah strange in a way
Maybe that it why I chase strangers away
They got their guns out aiming at me
But I become near when they're aiming at me

Me, me, me against them
Me against enemies
Me against friends

Somehow they both seem to become one
A sea full of sharks and they all smell blood
And they start coming
And I start rising
Must be surprising
I'm just surmising

I win, thrive, soar, higher, higher, more, fire!

-Fly, Nicki Minaj ft Rihanna

breathe

Save my soul.

so out of touch

laugh.

it's quite funny, really.

how one person can.

change so much in.

such a short.

period of.

time.

the little red bird

I've been thinking a lot lately.
(Yes, I have THAT much time on my hands, harharhar. NO I'm joking lah puhlease. Who has time now huh?)

About myself, Life, People, etcetcetc.

When I was younger, I used to marvel at those with that ability to speak and write Chinese. I still do, but I don't think as much about how they did it.

In P3, I supposed that all those characters were magical, could transform themselves into English alphabets as and when they wanted to, to whoever they wanted to. How lucky the lucky ones were! I wished they would change for me, so I could myself decipher the mysteries of each stroke and shape.

But that thought has ceased to exist, of course, as one gradually matures and gets exposed to the real world; one where it is universally accepted that There Is No Such Thing As Magic, bless you.

Everything that labels itself to be? Yeah, well those are just illusions. Stunts. Fake. Unreal.

And then, for some reason, I started considering the thought that everything.. is not everything. That nothing is really happening. That no, you are really only one lone person with the whole world revolving around you and not any other way.

Maybe everyone knows that, and is forced into secrecy so that I may not find out. Find out that nothing exists, really.

Much like a fictional book. You are the main character, and everything revolves around you.

And in one book, there's only one story. When you add another different book, you have two stories, in no way identical. 2 different stories. 2 different universes.

2 main characters completely oblivious to the others' own adventures.

And.. Nothing is happening in real life, as much as the book is exciting, as much as it seems to breathe, move, love. It's not unfolding in reality.

So I wonder. What if that is what is happening to me?

Maybe I won't ever die. Even though I see it everywhere. Maybe it is just one of the things that happens to everyone else, but somehow, not to you.

Then I wonder. What happens to me?

Who created this whole complex system?

I apologise for this, but I question religion too.
(My God, I should stop now before I get any more ideas and get admitted to a lunatic asylum.)

I'm sorry. This is one long post about nothing, really. But I honestly have been wondering. It's hard to put into words and may, or may not, make any sense for I have tried to explain it to an acquaintance and I can't quite say she got the whole idea.

but this like every intersection we just missed each other

It was a nice day. Very very nice.

Until you spoilt it.

Really, you did.

The least expected person to have ruined what I would think of as a perfect Monday.

....Urghh.

i try to channel you in hopes that i could steal you back

-yawn- I'm so tired though I practically did nothing today.

Teeheehee.

I succeeded in scaring Adani with the Human Centipede lol. She's super paranoid now muahaha.

Goodnight peepos.

It's my 400th post too yay!

Well that was meaningless..

maybe you died 'cause everybody ask me where you at

I wonder why everyone's complaining of a 'homework overload'. I thought it was ok.. I mean, I didn't have to write an essay or anything.. right? :o

Still, very weird.

Hahaha omg despite its sick content the 'conversation' during recess was just too hilarious.

Eh? Why am I still awake?

I'm so gonna sleep now.

Dear Old Nicki is my favourite song currently.
<3
How can anyone not like Nicki Minaj? ):

PS. 'Nicki' I miss you and I wish you would change back to who you were last year.

for your sake, things fall apart

Went to Husna's house to print my book cover. :D
Her printer is awesome I swear!
It prints under 10 seconds for a full colour page. :00
It's a product from heaven.

Then we talked and talked and talked about stuff in general.
Then she brought up how I could go to her house and get free tuition from her parents which is awesome! :D

Hahahahahahahaha! It's so nice to see a cousin on a school night because it feels different I don't know why it just does. :D

I sorta like school

I really like my teachers!

Bio: Miss Song
Chem: Mrs Yogee
E-Math & A-Math: Miss Doreen Lau
HML: Mdm Hartini
F. Geog: Mrs Mukherji

Ok that's all I can remember.
I can't remember my English teacher's name!! DD:

And my favourite subjects will be Bio, both Maths, and probably Full Geog. And FRENCH! :D

The CCA Walkabout today was cool and scary. Imagine if we really took in all 78 sign-uppers. :00

Dear old Nicki, please call back. )':

Why have you changed so much?
Don't make me hate you.
'Cause I don't want to. ):

You told me
You'd come when
I needed you
And you said it
So sweetly
I believed you

But I'm standing
Here calling
I can't see you
But I am holding you, holding you, holding you
To that

The coincidences in so many things are eerie.

Yar, tomorrow's like schooll.

Papa said lights out at 10.30 and it's 10.48 now but oh well right?
I'm waiting for my MP3 to charge.
Did you know it totally died on me in Genting? D<

I'm kinda excited for school tomorrow lol. But nervous also.
More nervous.
Like. What if I don't bring enough books?
What if I become a loner?
'Cause everyone's either going to either GY or PR which is so jsfbawukqgbfakdgv and I'm in DY which is also so wiukbfajwbkurghkasd.
So juysdfbuwsvfidubskjdbviudbvkjzbfgviuawbkajwbdgfiuwebgwkjdbvsikudg.

And I haven't printed out my homework too 'cause there's something wrong with the printer (like always). When will I have a perfect printer?! Man, I seriously regret not printing it out like, 3 weeks ago or something.

And I still haven't done Section C of SS. Is that ok? :0

Conclusion: Goodnight and good luck!

don't hate me 'cause i'm beautiful (;

2011's finally here! Haha, it just feels like a normal brand new day to me so.. x)

Well. I wanted to write about all the things I've achieved in 2010 but oh well.

(Laziness conquers pretty much all.)

Went to Husna's house for a BBQ! Wow we played with fire and it Was. So. Fun. :D I had a great time, yes! (:

PS. NO I haven't finished my homework lol.

I so love this outfit. (I pieced it!)

All I need now is the pink hobo, the black skinny pants, the thin waist belt and the tank. No I don't think the bag and belt have to be pink, just a bright colour to contrast with the dark pieces. Sky blue, maybe? Or lime green. Then I'll find an olive hobo. ;) I really like how the gladiators give an edge to this otherwise casual look.

Ok that's it. Bye.