How am I supposed to finish what you start?

Oh no, I'm really lost now.

lusfgubva skifuvbkzcjxvbaiuskfbviauscbvi.

I WANT THE BLOG BACK.

I can't find a better one anywhere.

I WANT THE BLOG BACK.

It's the only one that helps me get through things.

I WANT THE BLOG BACK.

Enya, where are you?

I WANT. THE. BLOG. BACK.

)'':

You gave me strength, gave me hope, for a lifetime.

Oh my God.

This canNOT be happening.

The site's locked.

THE SITE'S LOCKED.

SHT.

My inspiration, my encouragement, GONE.

ohmygodohmygodohmygod.

What am I going to do now?

):

Open it again, (the real) Enya!

)':

Please, please, please do.

Or I'll feel so lost.

)))))))))))':

Why don't I care?

I need to start caring about my weight again.

I really do.

Today alone, I consumed so much.

I got agitated for not having food quick enough.

Why?

WHY?

That's not supposed to happen!

Remember 37.

Urgh.

Eeurgh.

I have many many troubles/hassles.

Silly mosquito bites.

I have them everywhere on my legs.

(WHERE DO THE MOZZIES COME FROM?)

As if I don't have enough pests sucking my blood.

(Metaphorically-speaking too.)

Silly blocked nose.

I don' t understand how you can be runny at the same time.

Am I getting the flu?

Ah shiz.

But I never fall sick, so there.

Stop troubling me, will you?

I must so blow my nose now.

Ack.

so much for my happy ending

Wow. Life really is horrid now.

K not really horrid.

But..just..so...chaotic.

People are always bustling past, leaving dusty clouds of confusion where their feet had once stepped.

Ahh, I don't know how to say this.

Everyone's always changing, evolving slowly but surely at every point of time.

Slowly, I say, but always too quick for me to catch up and realise.

Stupid.

I've been so stupid.

But I'm only fifteen, and fifteen-year-olds are always bound to make mistakes, reckless decisions that can or can not be resolved with one simple word.

And now, I have to admit, I can't stop myself from acting that way because I'm only human, and not a fully matured one at that.

I feel the plight you felt then, Enya. I'm sorry for being even madder when you told me that. You're right, it IS true, and now it's what I want to tell HER, but I cannot because I know how it feels like to be told that, and the only result is disappointment.

Visage

What have I been doing today?

Finally catching up with my reading, I suppose.

The book I'm reading now is perfectly charming.

I'm already halfway through it.

❤

will you say alright, will you say ok?

I had a nice enough long weekend.

(So far, anyway.)

Despite the days' dramas and setbacks, there's nothing like family to always perk you up!

On Friday, Mama baked cupcakes using recipes from the cupcake book and they were so heavenly.

Then we watched Avatar again.

And it didn't seem so long.

(Haha my favorite favorite line: "You're not the only one with a gun, bitch.")

I've been listening more to old songs lately.

Jesse McCartney, Vanessa Hudgens, Beyonce, etc etc.

I'm not really into the songs playing now-times.

Don't know why.

Just so.

I got a new bag today.

I'm going to use it for school.

No doubt, it's a tote bag.

It's bigger than the one I used previously(yay!), and so much more cuter.

I'm not kidding!

(':

It's a Mel bag.

I like Perlini & Mel bags.

They appeal so much to me.

Always affordable, never above $60.

And their hobos are just my type too!

I adore their bold and vivid colours.

I wish I had every bag they have.

I'd rather have a Perlini & Mel bag than a Coach/Louis Vuitton/Prada bag.

Really.

Oh. Anis got a new pair of Converse sneakers.

Bright red.

Nice, I guess, but not my type.

Though they'll look awesome with certain skirts.

She says she wants to have as many sneakers as the number of my pairs of heels.

(Ha! Tough luck. I have at least 5 pairs and I don't think Mama will allow her to have 5 pairs of sneakers!)

Everyone likes a bit of attention, no matter the source of it.

I'm tryna erase you from my mind.

Darn, I'm making this sound like some screwed up love relationship.

"But I don't care, cos you're my friend and I'll make those who hurt you regret hurting you. Oh! I'm making this sound like a love confession. Awkward! But it's true, I do love you!"

Remember that, 'sister'?
(;

truths.

You, even if you don't think so, are a brag. Who can be such an attention whore.

You, even if you don't think so, are a bitch. Who causes people to fall out with each other.

And you, even if you don't think so, are a hypocrite. A very, very big one.

"It's you and me against the world." That's what you said, that's what you said.

Waiting for breaking point so that I can finally have a rock solid reason to not be your friend anymore.

Reminders.

These boots are made for walking.

You tear my heart open even though you've promised a million times not to.

"But don't let this incident and this one person make you hate life and all that. What is she, an insignificant little girl, to change your secondary school life like that? Just ignore her whenever she hurts you, and take this as a lesson learnt."

Dear, I should take your own advice and take it against you, instead of her.

And she is not an "insignificant little girl", she's someone I count on for support, someone I know I can count on almost every time. She's helped me get through so much, I am really grateful for her.

So to you and your other wonderful friend, stop insulting her!

;DD

HAHAHA I just came back from the gym I ran 15 minutes or sth (1.6km hahahaha so pathetic!!!)

I feel so high it's kinda weird.

;D

;D

Did 50 push-ups and 60 sit-ups.

Will go to the gym later.

I feel great!

I'm gonna have abs!

:DD

And my bio is, so far, generally revised.

Hehehehahahahohoho!

I got my angel now.

Seems like Ima stay up late tonight writing letters.

Life kind of sucks now.

*blows strand of hair from face*

I feel so empty and listless.

I just want..everything..to..

stop.

GAHHHHHHHHH-stly

Yucky results.

I'm kinda disgusted yet relieved yet disappointed.

Let's see......

2A1s, low but whatever.

For English and combined humans.

4B3s.

HMT, E-Math, Chem and F. Geog.

1C5.

For A-Math.

1C6.

For Bio.

Eeeyuck.

Even though I topped the class for Eng, Combined Humans, and HMT.

( (; )

Meh, can do better.

YES!

Promo Ceremony Tomorrow!

(:

It was a brave and bold move, that one. You never know who might be against you for it.

Shallow. I'm being shallow here. (But too bad, suck it up.)

You said you were/are an "aspiring anorexic".

I almost choked on whatever I was having.

Huh?

Excuse me?

You don't, you just don't aspire to be anorexic.

You can't.

Do you not understand that anorexia nervosa is not only an eating disorder, but also a mental disorder?

You can't make yourself have a mental disorder, can you?

What you're doing, it's called dieting.

Read my lips.

D-I-E-T-I-N-G.

Honey, dieting and being anorexic is in a million ways different.

I mean, me, I am in no way anorexic, but I guess I can pass as one..?

But you. just. can't!

And I suppose I'm just ticked off at how you pretty much insulted every anorexic out there.

If you "aspire" to be one and are announcing it to the universe, you should give the right impression and upkeep their reputation, or at the very least, the stereotype.

And I also hate, depise, detest, abhor! how you say it so nonchalantly, as if starving yourself is easy.

Let me tell you, it is not.

It. Is. Not.

You think it's not difficult at all, depriving your body its basic necessities?

Well I'll tell you now, it's plain torture.

But they persevere hard enough to get what they want, so it's worth it.

Every single second.

But surely you can't see that?

Being anorexic is about what you want to achieve, not about what you will be able to brag about.

(The latter is only, after all, just a bonus.)

So clear all your ignorant misconceptions, and stray away from anorexia.

Because it is, anyway, 'not healthy', is it not?

And it will be such a disgrace to every anorexic out there.

If you do continue with whatever you think you believe in.

All in all, just do me a favor and not insult them.

It's sick.

PS. I bet you hardly know the theory behind ana/mia either.

Weird...

Just now I had to use two different kind of shampoos on my hair because the Pantene one ran out.

Now my hair is like velvet and it smells like an infusion of flowers and berries.

(;

It was one of the best Mondays of the year.

It was the perfect ending to have graced the leave of the much revered weekends.

The weekday ritual of rising at 5.20am, delayed of course by the snooze button, was peculiarly bearable today.

Heck, I could actually think during the quick shower!

No tired feeling.

No, I was actually high.

I don't know how to explain it, come to think of it.

Today was miraculously beautiful, save the A-Math test, which I supposed everyone found rather.. tough.

No worries(?).

I feel so at ease.

It was really a gorgeous day!

I am in love!

❤

If only all Mondays were like this one, then I would love school so much more!

Siiigh... (:

Survival Tip: No procrastination.

Thanks for helping me make Monday so unblue.

I'll miss you. )':

Proper meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner, exclusive of in between snacks.

Everyday, until it's over.

To prevent unnecessary fainting spells. =.=

Notwithstanding the figure portrayed sharply on the relentless glass screen of the weighing scale.

It's 11.11pm.

I wish..

I wish that you may find me again at the end of this fortnight.

Then, we shall soar together, again.

Ana, you'll hate me for this.

But it's just 2 weeks.

2 short weeks.

I shall return.

I need to appreciate what I have first before it disappears.

Eradicated, bogged down with.. glycerol.

Just 2 weeks.

I'll miss you terribly, Ana.

You know that.

Some music quiz I've always wanted to do.

Place your MP3 on shuffle and press forward for each question. Use the song name to answer the questions!

How am I feeling today?: No Promises by Shayne Ward

Will I get far in life?: Teenage Dream by Katy Perry

How do my friends see me?: Hot N Cold by Katy Perry

I guess it's trying to say I'm 'bipolar'.
Where will I get Married?: Mannequin by Britney Spears

What is my best friend's theme song?: One of Those Girls by Avril Lavigne
(;
What is the story of my life?: Fly by Nicki Minaj ft Rihanna

What is/was highschool like?: Good Girl Gone Bad by Rihanna
Totally. ):
How is today going to be?: Morning After Dark by Timbaland ft SoShy and Nelly Furtado
The day I start being good.
How can I get ahead in life?: Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne

Always.
What is the best thing about me?: Blow Your Mind by Nicki Minaj

What is in store for this weekend?: Unusual You by Britney Spears

What song describes my parents?: The Fame by Lady Gaga

My grandparents?: Umbrella by Rihanna ft Jay-Z

How is my life going?: I Can Do Better by Avril Lavigne
I CAN SO TOTALLY DO BETTER THAN THIS.
What song will they play at my funeral?: Eenie Meenie by Justin Bieber ft Sean Kingston

How does the world see me?: Question Existing by Rihanna
Unknown~
Will I have a happy life?: Hummingbird Heartbeat by Katy Perry
Forever in anxiety. =.=
Do people secretly lust after me?: Il Avait Les Mots by Sheryfa Luna
He had the words..?
How can I make myself happy?: Overboard by Justin Bieber ft Jessica Jarrell

What should I do with my life?: Shattered Glass by Britney Spears
Doesn't sound good sia!
Will I ever have children?: Dem Haters by Rihanna
I hope they won't hate on me!
What is some good advice for me?: We'll Be Together by Ashley Tisdale
Will we?
What is my signature dancing song?: Push Up On Me by Rihanna

What do I think my current theme song is?: I Can Be by Taio Cruz
Be what?
What does everyone else think my current theme song is?: I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic! At The Disco

What type of men/women do you like?: We Ride by Rihanna

Eeee sounds wrong... xD

Haha interesting!

(:

K back to A-Math and it's puzzles.

Bye!

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew.

I'm not so into that song.

But it reminds me of someone I guess I miss, so I listen to it.

I feel so.. sad.

I really, honestly miss having her as the first person I can approach about anything.

Today was so tiring.

After I sent Amanda to Newton MRT, I promptly fell asleep in the car.

Then at home, I slept till 9.10pm.

(Even though 'just 5 minutes' kept ringing in my head.)

And when I awoke, I realised how much time I wasted, and chionged my LORMS.

I still have lots to do.

Not all due tomorrow.

But still.

A-Math, E-Math, E Lit.

:/

I should maintain my English marks or do better! (:

I still care for you, though.

Heyhey, are you ok?

:S

Ah, les regrets.

):

):

):

I definitely ate too much today.

I wonder what stopped me from seeing that.

Damn.

Yummmmm.

Oh God.

I can die eating cookies.

I swear.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

P:

I can get fat eating cookies everyday.

I'm not exaggerating.

Friday I had cookies.

Sunday I had cookies(chocolate white chocolate chip♥).

Today I had cookies.

(Yesterday's leftovers and another fresh big chocolate chip one.)

What can I say?

I'm perfectly obsessed with Famous Amos cookies.

It's not healthy, but think about it.

If I buy one everyday, I can still keep under budget!

Since one cookie/muffin costs less than $3 each, I'll spend under $15 per week!

(Oh yeah, I got a Chocolate Twirl Crown muffin from Famous Amos today too. It's for tomorrow's lunch.)

It sure is a blessing having an outlet so near home.

Darn I love love love Famous Amos.

No actually, I love cookies.
And muffins.

And cupcakes.

And cakes.

And pies.

But I still love cookies more.

❤

(:

Phew.

It was, overall, a satisfactory weekend, I suppose.

Except for a few setbacks and problems, I actually quite enjoyed it.

Avatar was simply brilliant.

And Sunday morning saw a beautiful, light wedding reception.

(I loved the concept! In a circular little pavilion with sky blue chiffon everywhere, it was certainly very dreamlike.)

I felt good in my gladiator heels.

(The fact that I used them finally! It's been way too long.)

Yeah.

Why should I fret so much when I know I have other friends I can rely on as well?

So now, it's "Hello, Monday."

We'll see how it goes.

(;

_|_

ausvdbkasdbvwydbflaiuwbv

My airy fairy Sunday morning just turned into a very irritating/annoying evening.

Mmmm. ):

Can you feel the awkwardness between YOU and US?

:/

wakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupWAKEUPALREADY.

I can feeling it clinging onto my very bones.

Weird week.

Welcome weekend.

(Weekends pass by way too fast, I swear.)

Hmm.

Quite an unproductive day..

Managed to do only A-Math and half of chem.

Still have Full Geog, SS, French, E-Lit and rest of chem to do.

:/

Watched Avatar today.

It was really good.

(:

I didn't expect it to be so.

I'm supposed to be able to control my food intake better during weekends, when the pace is more easy going.

But nooooo.

Mama is the best cook ever, and weekend meals are always the most appetizing.

So I can't help it.

:P

Maybe weekdays are better for me.

Everywhere's a rush, and every second is filled with something to do.

That's good for keeping eating out of mind.

Especially Fridays.

Fridays are the most awesome.

There's always too little time to sit down and have a proper meal.

So, I guess I'll make Fridays the official <500 day?

(:

It's not that hard.

37.

Dearest sister,

I miss you, and I need you.

Will you come back to me?

Sincerely,

Your sister.

PS. I love you.