My friends say I'm a fool to think that you're the one for me.

After FAC today, we went for for an amazing lunch at Pastamania at (oh man) Plaza Sing.
I felt like a glutton but that's ok. (':
It was a seriously delicious meal.

Anyway, then we started walking around looking at the shops.
Window-shopping lah.
And then my heart started breaking man. ):
Because we passed by so. many. shoe. shops.
):

In a nutshell, I've finalised my Wish List.
(I think I'm materialistic.
Nicci might be right! :O )

Will post that tomorrow.
Time to catch up with Life in general. (':

Give you a little more, because I love ya.

FAC is something we still have to be proud of because we trained so hard for it.
'Success is not the destination, but a journey.'
One of the quotes on the posters of the walls of the RC Campsite.
How true is that?
We'll keep on rising.
♥

Woahwoahwoahwoah.. I haven't blogged about OBS yet?!

I don't know what to say!
I'm clean, just had dinner, am in front of the laptop, but still kinda miss OBS.
No, it's how everyday you do something different and challenging.
I think it's the thrill of it all.
Now it's back to same old boring routine.
Eeyuck.

But I guess.. I was almost one with my element. 3)
I managed to go half the height element thing. (Not the rock-climbing one, the odd-shaped poles with staples on them.)
Kayaking was very very very fun.
(I found some super huge conch shell on the beach. Yay!)
Trekking was like torture but the muscle aches from it were so delicious I could devour them.
I had dreams for all 4 nights. (The tent was really quite comfortable.)
Cook was awesome!
We won the cookout thing. (Cook can cook!)
Camp 2 Bravo was AWESOME.

I really like how every instructor and watch does different things everytime.
Like not all of us do jetty jump, or not everyone does the same things at the same times.
We don't hear the same stories.
It's like, different.
And on the last moring, we managed to watch the sunrise.
I've never done that.

I don't know that else to say for OBS, there's a lot running through my mind, but too much to write down. I guess.

Though I won't say I'll go again, I thought it was an experience everyone should have.

Oh yeah, I also managed to pee in the bushes.

Just to be quiet.

Ahhh! OBS tomorrow! D:

5 days without hot water, Internet, relaxation! (And tests! :D)

I feel so worried and nervous now.

AH!

I'm almost done packing. (:

I hope I have a good sleep.

(Last night I dreamt about flying VIs..?)

God bless me. TT

I'm just gonna pray to Allah to keep me safe. And to help me get though OBS. (Sounds hellish, that place.)

I am addicted to 'Quiet' by LIGHTS! :0

Good luck to everyone going for OBS tomorrow!

xoxo

Post number 444

Today, I went to ECP and Pasir Ris Beach for the Geog PT with Jan, Kimberly (Ang), Charmaine and Hong.

It was really more fun than expected! :D
And Pasir Ris beach was a treasure trove for coastal protection measures.
<3

But it was so polluted! D:
And quiet and secluded too.

And we almost went to Escape Theme Park after it all. xD
But we didn't because I did not want to waste money on something so lame. =.=

Anyway, it was a nice day.

Hahahaha I've planned so many outings with Jan!
xD

STILL haven't packed for OBS yet, dammit. =.=
Better go now, bye!

Funny how you could always make me feel small.

Aiyah, I think I'll lay off it for a while and count my blessings.

!!!!!!!!!!

E-Math and A-Math!! DD:

I think.. I am currently mentally unstable.

It's funny how I am aware of that yet can't do anything to change it, is it not?

Usually when someone is delirious they have no.. conscience.

Your love(?) blinded you.

I thought you should have known that.

Oh but you're not like me, you can't see that.

I want to escape.

How do I escape?

Drugs are waaaaay out of the question.
(But who knows? Due to desperateness? Hahaha joke. Lol.)

I CAN'T kill myself.
(That would be dumb. I'll go to hell.)

I don't know what to do.

Sort it out? Yeah, but not when that's impossible.

I guess pretence is the only way to go then.
(:

I'm fine.
And I'm happy.
(:

Collecting your jar of hearts?

OA gold was brilliant! (Y) (Y) (Y)

YAY!

Hahahaha I thought I would fail but I didn't! xD
See, because for some reason Carina and I kept getting torn groundsheets. So sad.
SO SAD.

But roasting the chicken was fun.
I've smoke in my hair now and it can't be washed away! Yay! :D

Hahaha I'm so glad. Should I go for RCK now? :3

OBS soon I so am NOT prepared.
):

It's P6 happening all over again.
I will regret it, I know, but I cannot stop!
Best friends the year before, and drift away in the next one, then I get overly jealous and start to hate.
Sigh.
Sigh sigh sigh ttm.

But you've taken everything away from me already! Stop stealing.. them!

URGH. Am I stressed?

"Easily irritable/angered" Check.
"Loss of appetite" Totally.
"Falling grades" You kidding me? Durh.

WHY AM I STRESSED. I DON'T F-ING GET IT. I'M STRESS 'CASUE I'M STRESSING OVER THINGS I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE STRESSING ABOUT.

How can it be a breeze for anybody?
Let's cut my safety rope for abseiling during my OBS when I'm hanging near the top.

Man, this is DUMB.

What's bipolar? Help me check, I might be like Ris Low.
Blardy.

SO PISSED. URHGGBSJKhbawjmcx.

So very pissed!

For some reason, I'm talking to Drisman now. =.=
Weird, if you ask me.
But so very funny, it helps to take my mind off things! (:

And Linda Ma'am too! :D
<3

And ahhh the one-hour phone convo with Jan till 12 am yesterday was just lovely.

I love you guys! <3
I really do!

I must appreciate my friends more.
I really have to.
<3

URGH F OFF. ):<

I ate a huge plate of fried kway teow just now. I feel like some fat biatch.
Talking about food, I actually survived OA Gold with a few spoons of fried rice for breakfast, a few bites of roasted chicken for lunch and a can of juice.
I am so proud of myself.
BUT the dinner screwed it all up.

Sigh.
End of weird random rambly post.
Gonna do all my homework. (Practically only Math. Lucky me, no? :3)
Kbye.

I kissed a girl and I liked it

What? I love that song! :3
Today was a wonderfully decent, beautiful day!
I couldn't ask for more!
<<<3

Today I made a rash decision to photocopy my disastrous French paper.
I had never felt that excited as I ran/jogged/whatever to the bookshop.
Once the deed was done, I looked at it and tore it in two. (Not a perfect half, though. ): )
The lush tearing of paper was as melodious as a played harp.
With that, my revenge was already half-done.
(FYI, I recycled the paper!)
That was ten cents well spent.

And Nicolette got me two very cool/awesome souvenirs from Sabah!
<3
One of them was a wooden box with an adorable, smiley little bug inside that jiggled its several insect feet when the box is opened.
Hahahah it made my day!

Hm, what else.
Oh, javelin throwing!
Glorious, simply glorious!
:D

It was such a beautifully perfect day of streaming sunshine in the midst of weeks of ugly rain.
I can't ask for more!

Ahh better prepare stuff for tomorrow, I'm so very busy!

I've been California wishing on these stars

I wonder what I've gotten myself into, sometimes. >.<
Yuck.
Bio Test tomorrow.
=.=
Hope for the best?

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, what did I do? What did I do? I will set this right for you, I promise. You don't deserve any of this. ):
♥

):

I am so sad.

Don't run away, love.

Today, no surprise there, I kept getting pissed. =.=

Silly 7-Eleven lady.
I've told her thrice that I wanted 3 Slurpees, and she kept acting like I didn't answer her question. And she kept giving me that stupid look like she thought I was stupid. She's just so... Stupid.

Urgh.
And then I've realised that this irresponsible 'man' could have paid his outstanding traffic fines instead of sleeping with some woman probably a century his senior at a 5-star hotel for five days.
Or he could have gotten his children proper books for education.
You fool, I'm not even fifteen yet and I can see that.

You know that feeling where you try so hard to be that good friend you want for yourself too, but then they never get the hint.
And you give up.

And how something you love starts to hurt you.
Yet you continue trying to be the best for it.
So that it may live.
I don't get how this person here never gets sabotaged by it.
It's not fair.

Urgh! I'm just so pissed and angry today!
I don't even know why!
Bloody PMS!
(Literally! HAHAHAHAHA. So funny! NOT.)

At least I have A-Math tuition to look forward to.
I cannot wait to have some other thing occupying my time besides that.
Eeyuck.

Who do you think you are? Running round leaving scars.

Today I woke up feeling abnormally bitter.
An unexpected feeling because I was having a nice evening yesterday, cross out a few other factors.
Plates of chicken rice, scooters till 11.20pm, movie marathons.

But today I woke up with the need to listen to songs like
Jar of Hearts
Stuttering
Roman's Revenge
Love the Way You Lie part 2
Playing God

So I did.

I've decided some things that I want to do come June-August.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM REALLY EXTREMELY UPSET WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE.

Since WHEN did you type like that?
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Really.
Urgh.
Urgh.
Urgh.
How do I get out of this situation.
Urgh.

So immatured but I need an outlet.

You see right through me.

I'm going to see Ms Lau for A-Math. Then I'll feel much better.

Sometimes, I wonder.
Why doesn't anyone just slow down?
Walk slower, talk slower, live slower.
Take the time to look around you and see what you already have, instead of worrying so much about what you don't.

Look at the grass, so patched and uneven. Chopped so carelessly.
Look at the crow, how its head turns so very abruptly. How it walks and hops, walks and hops.
Look at the sky, how beautiful the lazy glow of pink makes it. How the setting sun just beams behind the clouds.
Just look at how rich we are!

I don't understand why must Life's pace be so much faster now.
I'm sure he is not satisfied with what he is giving to us.
I'm very certain he does not like to see us so forced.

I don't see why we cannot stay as we were a few decades ago.
I mean, we survived, did we not?
Keep it there!

Urgh.
I am so pissed now.
So very pissed.
Why are you so crude?
Don't need to address people like that anymore, lah can?

And you, you are so bossy!

And you! Just stop it, ok?!

So I got a free pedicure.

Hahaha today was orientation! It was so fun! (Y)
But I'm so tired, and I'm gonna sleep now.
I feel so glad I don't have any homework.
Wait. Come to think of it, I feel like a slacker now. ):
Aiyah whatever lah.

Still. Last orientation as a cadet!
And I'm still wondering how the sec ones feel when they look at us.
Is it the same feeling that we ourselves felt when we were sec ones, looking up at our sec 3s (now ex-NCOs)?
I mean, really.
I don't feel like quite a sec 3.
Or maybe I have yet to get used to it.
I honestly feel like still a sec 2, just taking on more responsibilities and stuff.
It feels weird.
O.o

K night.

Pretty little kitty

Oh, Coco. Times like these I feel like cuddling you on the couch and squeezing you so tight you will start meow-ing, annoyed. And I feel like cupping your small little face and kissing your tiny button nose. And scratching you under your chin, because that's what you like. And I'll play with your paw that feels so human-like yet so different! And if I have some durian, I'll let you lick some off my fingers with your rough, scratchy tongue.

You are just so adorable, pet. (:

djvbakibvawkbvasmnvblaifvnakfs

AHHH!
Nervous nervous nervous for Orientation!
But still very very very excited!
Some juniors not replying!
AAH!
AH!
AH!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even angels have their wicked schemes.

Well. Chewing gum really serves as a good distraction.
And it's not like your body really takes it in!
Will have more soon.

Today was kind of bad.
Not so bad.
But not that good either.
:/
Woke up making a list of everything I hate about myself.
Not a good start to the day, if you ask me.

And A-Math test was so ?!#@%*
Like wanna die. -.-
I'll be lucky to even scrape a pass.
It's really time to wake up.

Orientation this Thursday!
I am SO excited!
Aren't you?
:D
Kind of like the official start of being a sec 3 cadet.
:o

I hope I'll enjoy it more than last year, and definitely more than when I was sec 1 myself.
Nah. I think I surely will. (:

Try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me
Run out the room and I'll follow you like a lost puppy
Baby, without you, I'm nothing,
I'm so lost, hug me
Then tell me how ugly I am,
But that you'll always love me
-Love The Way You Lie (Part II)

Bored.

No, wait.
I'm not bored.
Just.. helpless.
Tomorrow will be the worst day ever.

Pray that I will live.

I hate myself.
):

Sigh. Hello diary.

Love The Way You Lie. Part 2.

I love this one way better than the original one.
<3

all i've got are these photographs

Oh man, I really hope that the tests won't be so hard. D:
Very scary. ):

Ok better resume attempts to study now bye.

aw man.

Had been gorging on McDs for the past half hour.
A double fillet-o-fish meal upsized.
UPSIZED,
Somebody please, PLEASE remind me of how unhealthy eating (that much) is.
Smack me when I eat junk food, pinch me, whatever!
I swear then, I will stop eating!
If only you'll help me. ):
Then again, true ana-s help themselves.
But that's not the point.
:/

but to live doesn't mean you're alive

Ahh. It's 8.30am and I'm blogging on my phone again.
It's such a lovely morning, yes?
So quiet and peaceful. :3

But, urgh, we have so many tests!
Next week alone we have A-math, e-math, and French. ):
And the week after the next there's bio, english, and full geog. Oh.
Full geog and bio is on the same day. 15 Feb. ):
So many tests!
Every single week!
Can I please please please go back to primary school!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I am NOT so relaxed anymore.
I've just realised I need to start MOVING because there is NO TIME.
So I'll have to use this time for math, bio, geog, french, etcetcetc.
And I was STUPID enough to NOT have brought home bio and geog books.
))):<
Bleh. What an ironic ending to this supposed-to-be-cheerful post.
Though on the brighter side, I'm going to KL tomorrow till Saturday!
And that means lesser time to study!
Dammit.