It involves Louis & Harry's relationship, the fandom and (of fucking course) the press.
No I am SO mad rn.
This post isn't supposed to happen but where the fuck else can I do this.
The Daily Dot: One Direction fandom adds billionaire record exec to conspiracy theory
The Internet is a breeding ground for conspiracy theories—9/11 truthers, moon landing denialists, people who believe that the world is secretly ruled by an elite caste of reptiloid aliens hidden inside human flesh-suits. But for a true connoisseur, One Direction fandom provides some of the best conspiracy theories around.
While plenty of Directioners are as reasonable as the next pop fan, some are embroiled in a cultlike belief in “Larry Stylinson”: a secret relationship between singers Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles. With many fans convinced that the band’s homophobic “Management” are forcing “Larry” into the closet, the lack of hard evidence for the relationship only proves the effectiveness of the cover-up. Never mind the fact that Tomlinson has called Larry theories “bullshit,” and Management are seemingly unconcerned about any rumours inspired by Styles’ close friendship with gay DJ Nick Grimshaw.
As 1D conspiracy theories go, this one isn’t wholly implausible. There’s nothing to say that Clive Calder isn’t Eleanor’s father—it just doesn’t have anything to do with Larry Stylinson. If “Management” felt the need to hire a fake girlfriend for Louis Tomlinson, why would they pick the teenaged daughter of a recording executive with such a distant, tangential attachment to the band’s own record label? (Jive is a now-defunct subsidiary of Sony, 1D's label.) And what’s Eleanor getting out of this? Not money, if her father is already a billionaire. And not fame, because she and Louis are a very private couple—particularly when compared to Harry Styles’ regular appearances in the tabloids. We like the idea that the whole thing might actually be the other way round: Eleanor Calder, billionaire heiress, using her father’s money to hire famous boyband star Louis Tomlinson to be her boyfriend.
If the popularity of the Clive Calder post proves anything, it’s that there are few things more intimidating than a 1D fan with a mission. Using the kind of obsessive detective work usually reserved for professional background checks, Larry Believers have systematically investigated a middle-aged man and his son in the hopes that it'll yield some gay conspiracy “evidence” to forward their cause.
As Tumblr user freekicks put it, “If we told the 1D shippers that a man named jimmy hoffa had proof larry stylinson was real, they'd have his body found and dug up in 45 minutes, tops.”
There's a lot of things wrong with this article.
1) You're a journalist.
I am so glad you have your ability to write in a non-biased manner - albeit on the topic of pop culture, on a site meant for pop culture - in check.
It makes you so credible.
2) You actually took the time to try to disprove the fact that there is something fishy going on behind the scenes where the use of common sense in interpreting what is happening in this stupid-ass band can and will point otherwise.
What the fuck, journalist dearest, do your fucking homework - I suggest taking notes from the shippers.
We certainly do ours; our beliefs aren't fucking unfounded.
3) "embroiled in a cultlike belief" Well excuse the fuck outta me if larry shippers are merely reading the signs that are nuclear-radiating from these two, who are banging so hard on the insides of the closet door made of crystal fucking glass.
4) You, as a means of communication to the mass public, did not have to throw shade on the girls trying to shed light on the truth.
Shame on you.
5)
With many fans convinced that the band’s homophobic “Management” are forcing “Larry” into the closet, the lack of hard evidence for the relationship only proves the effectiveness of the cover-up. Never mind the fact that Tomlinson has called Larry theories “bullshit,” and Management are seemingly unconcerned about any rumours inspired by Styles’ close friendship with gay DJ Nick Grimshaw.
I'm going to have to correct you on this.
- Modest! isn't explicitly homophobic; they work on the fact that much of the world is
- Larry's forced into the closet to create this "straight & attainable" image of all the boys
- Larry's forced into the closet?? Fuck yes, else explain the stark lack of photos/news of Harry and Louis ever hanging out together by themselves, as compared to the bountiful paps of other pairings.
The need for Harry to ask for permission to shake Louis' hands on stage, whilst able to freely embrace his other band mates whenever, whereever.
- Lack of hard evidence are you fucking kidding me. wellington/matching tattoos/mysterious lovebites when 1d are on tour/multiple outings by close friends aka ed and nick grimshaw/matching fucking tattoos really.
- Louis Tomlinson does not think Larry is "bullshit", @Louis_Tomlinson does
- Harry & Nick are friends, of course Gryles rumours won't threaten Modest! - there isn't an actual risk of them being together, why would they care. Modest! does nothing to suppress Nosh (Niall & Josh their drummer) shippers either (and Josh actually tweets it so blatantly). This is because Nosh is not an actual relationship; it is not an actual obstacle to Modest!'s money-making plots. Nosh wouldn't ruin One Direction's image like Larry probably would if they came out (4/5 of a band taken, 2/5 of the band gay & off-limits to girls forever, just imagine that)
" she and Louis are a very private couple"
Excuse you.
If there's two things that don't mix I'm pretty darn sure it would be "Elounor" and "private".
Have you actually seen Eleanor's twitter.
Just how many ads/promotions is she making.
Remember that time Louis & Eleanor took a picture in matching coca-cola PJs and posted it on instagram, but the pictures got deleted after modest! broke contract with that company, and now have one with pepsi instead.
Remember those many many many times they talked about Yorkshire Tea on twitter.
Remember Topshop.
Remember Starbucks.
Remember how they are always pap-ed, even in the French airport where pap-ing is absolutely forbidden by law.
(Meaning the paps knew they were there and were given permission to snap photos of them.
Meaning the whole outing was planned by management.)
Publicity.
Endorsements.
Contracts & deals.
That's what Elounor is.
If you think I'm treating One Direction like it is a conspiracy theory, that's because it is one.
Learn to never believe all that you read.
If I tried explaining the whole of One Direction it would take me days and literal hundreds of entries.
(The Reasons Why Larry Stylinson is Real Masterpost took me days to read and several crashes to endure, but it was eye-opening, logical and worth it, though it still lacks some information, as detailed as it is.
That's how complicated One Direction is.)
One Direction is not what it is made out to be in the media, and the fact that so many out there are in denial of this is scary.
Of course I will write more about this in other future entries.
There's a lot under the 1D/Larry umbrella.
And this isn't even taking my feelings/emotions into consideration.
I am merely taking facts (unbiased facts) and making the most likely conclusions wherever they are due.
But my beliefs are unshaken.
If I get doubts...seriously.
Multiple pairs of matching tattoos ffs.
Sexual tension/innuendo is good enough to show these two aren't exactly dictionary-definition of "straight" either.
You don't get turned on by your best friend guys I'm just saying.
Okay I've burnt out and I'm going to sleep this agitation off.
I'm not supposed to be up till 1 in the morning writing about One Direction.
It's just really disconcerting how people think we are the delusional ones.
*waits patiently for Larry to come out*
*anticipates future bragging rights*
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