pep talk turn into a pep rally

well fuck me you don't tease me for knowing things about one direction okay

you don't call me a fucking addict

because that is one thing I am not

do I preoccupy all my time with them

I actually don't ???

(wow how fucking miraculous yes u learn new things every day)

I don't even read fanfics anymore I've deleted my tumblr app I've done so much ??

I don't even think about them anymore ???

(unless it is absolutely necessary like harry publicly kissing a man ((which he did)) and you know that shit is fucking monumental)

like I don't even fucking qualify what the fuck

it's not like I stan

fuck you fuckin fuck just don't

sit yourself down and think about things before saying them jfc

I can't even list 5 fucking things I know about zayn/niall/liam

pls don't make me mad

I actually don't need this

I'm not going to stand for this "addiction" is a fucking terrifying word

if you use this "addict" word you take away any little semblance of the bits of control I have over my life

and really, in what way would this benefit me

I have control over my life

I have control

I do

anyway don't tease me don't make me a joke

what I know about one direction and my opinions on them

(fuck you I used tons of critical thinking in forming them they helped me develop my social consciousness)

are valid

and I am not going to give you the right to undervalue them and make them feel like something I am better off without

ugh fuck this don't ask me why I feel strongly about this

I don't give a fuck if you don't care about 1d it's not an obligation

but you really don't have to bring it up and dismiss it just so

yeah ok did you know you have the option to not mock anyone who bothers enough to think hard about the truth 

jfc the only person I'll accept this remark from will be arinna because damn does anyone else around here actually understand and recognise and is immersed in fandom culture??

fuck the patronising tone in that was almost /tangible/.

take a walk on the wild side

Am not gonna lie, I don't think I regret being a larry shipper or a one direction fan (not gonna say directioner because ugh).

Ever since December of '12, good things have been happening for me.

Here's another list.

1. Complete understanding that the music industry is an ugly place. (or complete enough, anyway.)

PR stunts, manipulations, the imposing of certain images on the boys for the sake of making big money.

"Haylor"'s too obvious on the PR STUNT list.

First 'date' at the very public Central Park in New York City accompanied by Harry's stylist and her family?

'Romance' (short-lived one, at that) starting right before 1D & Taylor Swift's world tours and around the time Taylor's new single would be released, the same single that could be manipulated enough to make it seem like it's about Harry?

Morning 'walk-of-shames' out the front door of Taylor's hotel when enough care can be taken to sneak Harry the least overt way possible (IF they were even sleeping together)?

Yeah, I call bullshit too.

Thank god they broke the contract/agreement.

The boys are marketed as this group of sweet, innocent baby-faced lads when hahaha no.

I still don't get why so much of their merch features their 2011 selves.

(We see what you're doing, modest!.)

That's not them, they're more than their monikers.

It's 2013, I think they've progressed enough from their fetus days.

And the truth is the boys aren't normal people; they aren't your "typical boys-next-door"; they're not "attainable".

But that's what the media/management wants you to think.

That's how they milk every penny they can from these boys - by tapping on the very desires of screaming teenage fangirls with wedding fancies, on that maybe-just-maybe-he'd-fall-in-love-with-a-fan hope.

And you know what would shatter this image of attainability, therefore reducing this crazed interest in the boyband?
If one of them was gay.

(Lbr we can safely say there's two of them.)

I just really don't like their management, yeah?

2. I haven't been any gay-er ever since Larry.

No, m'not gay.

It's just I've never been more supportive of equal rights ever.

I don't know, it's just.

Tumblr has made me so much more open to all this.

Yeah, thanks for showing me that love sees past gender.

3. You're part of a big damn community.

Do you want to know how many people believe in larry?
Based on a poll, uh, more than 14, 000, 000.

Yeah, that's right.

Fourteen million.

Among whom are people who've been married for twenty years and women who've raised children so I think they'd know pretty damn well what love might look like.

So if you know Larry's real we're friends without question.

4. Acquaintance with so much more good music.

Is that ironic or.

Being part of the 1D fandom's opened doors to amazing music, not gonna lie.

It's funny because the boys' music tastes are definitely not what constitutes the music on their albums.

And One Direction fans are really indie music fans who have no idea what they're doing here.

Well anyway.

I got the xx from a larry post someone made.

And with words unspoken

A silent devotion

And like hey I love this song what's the group called oh the xx let's listen to a couple other songs they have on youtube and then bam!.

And Frank Ocean.

I knew his song Thinking About You, and I l o v e d it but not much else, and then ocean sequence happened and bam! I have to listen to his other songs and bam! here I am.

And there's The Fray, and Ed Sheeran, and Emeli Sande.

I just really hate modest!management okay.

Poor, overworked, exploited boys.

So you see.

I'm a little conflicted.

Do I want to watch their 3D movie?
Yes.

Do I want to support the fact that the whole movie is probably scripted and their getting-mobbed scenes were encouraged and "This is" definitely NOT "Us"?

Yeah, probably not.

Harry & Louis' twitcam from years ago though.

:'(

I firmly believe that they are two best friends who were fated to fall in love.

and the tears stream down my face.

Also, the entire larry fandom is biting its nails, teetering on the edge of its seat.

We think something big larry-related will happen by the end of the year.

I mean, the recent influx of larry-suspicion articles can't be a coincidence, no?

Looks like modest! forgot to give out a few paychecks..

*prays it is them coming out*

gonna pop some tags

Well today I had the pleasant misfortune of dealing with some judgemental pricks and it's been bugging me the entire day.

How do I start this most civilly.

Listen here you little shit, but you would have to explain this to me, because I can never understand how or when music preferences have become a reason for one to be looked down upon.

Or really, in your words, "I'm judging you for this."

No, just...no.

Superbass and Stupid Hoe do not constitute who Nicki is.

But if you think that the 3-year love I have for her music and what she does is unfounded, you cannot possibly be anything other than moronic because I am not one to commit mindlessly.

All you have actually heard is 7 minutes of two different sides to Nicki and......?

You've completely, deliberately pushed away Here I Am, Save Me, Marilyn Monroe, fucking Freedom that was an actual single, Hold Yuh, Can Anybody Hear Me and you are still tripping your dumb asses over how she isn't a good person.

I just don't get it??

Verse on Girl on Fire and y'all are still dissatisfied like get. a. grip.

(angst angst angst)

Well I am sorry, but Nicki has pulled me through tons of shit when no other artistes could.

And yes, I say she is an artiste because friendly reminder that Nicki started out as a female rapper, but now she's delving into pop (I think this is quite discernible) and if you think this is not applaudable you need your cranium checked (if you get this reference good for you).

Which other female rapper can you name off your head this very moment that's smashing up   the industry in both r&b and pop genres?

Chances are you came up with nothing.

See, that's because every other female rapper that's ever existed - lil kim, missy elliot, eve, on and on and on - had stuck to the rap genre and that is it. full stop. rip careers.

Not Nicki, no, she's a brave woman who's done something unprecedented, knows the importance of higher education, actually loves her barbz, I mean I don't know what's not to love about her.

And the importance of her in my life I cannot stress enough because who else has empowered me like she has.

Who else has told me that sometimes being a bitch isn't bad, that being a bitch doesn't necessarily mean being mean and ratchet, that maybe it is about speaking your mind, up for yourself and knowing where the line is drawn and understanding that you do not exist to be trodden on.

(Thank you I'm The Best & Still I Rise & Wave Ya Hand & a million other tracks.)

Nicki encapsulates that idgaf part of me that everyone needs at some point of time in their lives.

That's Roman; Roman is my angry demon.

Roman is Monster & Roman Holiday/in Moscow/'s Revenge & Out of My Mind.

Without Roman I'd punch walls and tear paper up.

Without Nicki there is no Roman.

I don't know, Nicki just makes me feel really, really, really good and nothing she does can make me hate her because she means more to me than just Superbass and Stupid Hoe.

This is something I find hard to phrase in a comeback, I guess, so here are some things to make up for that.

I cannot explain in explicit, definite forms why I love Nicki that much, I just do.

as long as they understand that

i'm fighting for the girls that never thought they could win.

Also this is me trying to put in my two cents on why no one should be defined solely by what they listen to.

You should not give a fuck if I find myself quite unable to quit my listening to Selena Gomez's new single, just because you think she "can't sing".

Okay, pause.

Do you actually think I don't know that.

Do you also actually think that is a legit reason to forbid someone from listening to a song.

Excuse you. 

What even.

I just.

Okay, this makes me so mad.

What is wrong with listening to some mindless pop now and then.

Doesn't mean I'm a diehard brainwashed follower of the pop (cult)ure.

Because I'm sure as hell I will never survive concentrated bubblegum pop - why do you think I listen to not-mainstream music.

(Hold your remarks about 1d, if you please.)

But why should it bother you what people listen to.

Why is it a felony for me to like Chris Brown's music just because he hideously beat up a woman.

Me loving what he puts out isn't the same as me advocating domestic violence.

Me loving Taylor Swift's music isn't the same as me liking the artiste herself.

Me loving One Direction isn't the same as me being an immature, delusional, pubescent tween who has wedding plans with every member of said boyband.

Repeat after me.

A person isn't what he/she listens to.

What he/she listens to only represents one part of a person.

Well, there's that.

Which brings me to my next point, that is a bit more obviously related to hating on someone just because they listen to some kind of music.

If you don't know by now, Drake is in absolute hate with Justin Bieber.

(I'm talking about Drake Bell from Drake & Josh, not my YMCMB Drake because he doesn't have time for shit like that.)

No, actually, he just hates the fans.

Look his twitter up.

It was funny at first, I mean, yeah, beliebers fgs smdh.

But today, in mocking jest, he retweeted one of the fans' tweets ("Swag." I mean come on now) and damn.

That 12-year-old is now getting tons of hate from Drake's fans.

A 12-year-old.

Getting hate.

Because of what a 26-year-old did.

We need to take a step back here and realise that there's a million things wrong with this picture.

I just?? I mean???

Poor girl who was just casually loving Justin Bieber?????

Suddenly subjected to online bullying????????

Just because she likes loves JB?????????????

Dear Drake Bell, 

You're a grown-ass man.

Your twitter page seems dedicated to throwing shade on fans of a guy many years your junior.

Are you sure you have your priorities sorted.

Sincerely,

wtf are you even doing.

I mean, o.k.a.y. beliebers aren't the friendliest or nicest people, but h.o.n.e.s.t.l.y.

W.h.y.

What, are you promoting a notion of a hate-filled society.

W.h.y.

Should it matter to you how idiotic JB fans are.

W.h.y.

Have you never heard of the turn-around-and-walk-away move or.

There will be an abrupt ending to this post because I burnt out.

And no, this rant isn't an accurate measure of my maturity.

But really, will you not consider what I've been going on about?

(Also is it ironic how this basically revolves around pop culture??)

thank you for not being here

Okay this will probably be one of my last few posts involving 1D because after yesterday, I mean.
I just want to wean myself off of this?
Also I feel sad that my whole life practically revolves around the boys like what?.
It's just a tiny bit too detrimental.
(Buuuut don't take my word for this; this may or may not be just a phase.)
I say step one to dragging myself out of this sinkhole.
(And it may or may not fail.)
((Come to think of it..what is my "step one" even..?))

Though of course I'll still be a hard-core Larry shipper, also side-shipping Ziam and the occasional Zourry.
And you know what, you can't change that.
If I ship people I have my reasons for doing so and I will not jump ship just because someone tells me to.
Shipping is serious business, I mean, it practically tells the world what some of the things that you stand for, are.
And so it is undoubtedly true that once you insult someone's ship, shit will get personal.
Which is why I think that if you do not agree with someone's choice of ships, you do not go up to them and tell them upfront that their ship is bullshit.
Especially when you are in their personal space.
You come on here, you read my opinions, and you respect them, because I cannot deal with anyone having the privilege of coming into my bubble and then throwing serious shade on me or what I personally believe in and stuffing ships I don't want to ship down my throat (or any other ideologies for that matter).
And this is my personal policy in reading opinions and perspectives of the millions of people we have on this planet.
If I choose to read someone's diary and intrude onto their personal space (without them knowing and yes I've done this so many times before sorry do you have a diary i might have read it sorry again) I make sure that I am mentally prepared for things that might offend me, and then I keep myself open-minded and I won't hate on them for their opinions.
Because it is their right and it is their space and I have to respect that.
And if I choose to go through the Elounor tag, for example, I am not going to flip if I see Elounor shippers worshiping that ship or stating (civilly) how they think Larry's not real, because it is their space.
(Even though I still think some're kinda stupid.
Though not quite as stupid as Haylor shippers..
because how can you ship two people who don't even remotely look happy with each other.)
But I draw the line if they do that on the Larry tag or send anon hate or whatever else.

Oh god I think I digressed.

The point of the matter here is that I am not trying to sink anyone's ship - it is merely me stating my honest-to-god opinions.
I also take great care in not insulting the people themselves so I mean...?
If you hate the fact that I ship Ziam...why should you even bother?
My Ziall-shipper sister and my Ziam-shipping self get along just fine, even though we have tiny ship wars now and then, but nothing too major.
I asked her today if she's mad that I shipped Ziam (ya know, since Ziall's her OTP and her one true love and such and Zayn's with Niall not Liam etc etc) and she said no why should she be mad, because she doesn't control me.
I wanted to kiss her then because if my own sister can tolerate it (not even "tolerate" really; she simply doesn't give a shit what I ship) then why can you not?
And remember that from time to time, I still get intense Zouis feels, so the fact that I can still ship a pairing involving half of my soulmate otp aka Larry Stylinson...
Also I am very, very okay with people having Zouis/Zarry/Nouis/Narry/Lilo/Lirry as their otp as in they legitimately have faith in their otp being 100% real in real life.
You know, because why should I burst their bubble when they're in their own happy place?
As long as they don't hate on other ships, I'm perfectly fine.
And I actually find it cute too (aka that time when I found someone with Narry as their serious otp), so I don't get why you're mad..?
I am sorry if this makes you mad, but I was so, so upset, I really was.
And the fact that you seriously, seriously could not take me shipping Ziam kind of worries me a little.

So I am not going to stop my shipping Ziam, because I see something there, and you should not be terribly offended if you are completely assured of the realness of your own otp.
What I ship shouldn't affect what you ship, and it is the same the other way.

Now how about we both do a turn-around-and-walk-away move and carry on with our smutfic-reading/feels-filled lives.

stay for the night

Bloody hell f.
I am so mad right now.
So Harry is now "spotted with yet ANOTHER girl"??
Congrats mgmt you've succeeded in adding onto the harry-is-an-insatiable-manwhore image.
And then the fruckin magazines laps it up like bloody hell why harry why is niall lets say never in the tabloids for being with tons of girls because he has been with a ton of girls way more than harry really why the double bloody standard.
And you know harrys a cupcake and hes never believed in objectifying women hes denied all this so many times why.
Building an image that doesnt even exist smdh.
No actually let me tell you why.
It's because their contract includes an image clause that they'll need to live up to, and don't you say there isn't any.
(If you think T. Swift isn't changing her image you're wrong - this girl's not going for the sweetheart reputation anymore.)
But now media's seeing Harry as some kind of slut this isn't even true because he's not even interested in girls atm??
Idk why this gets to me, but it does, and now this poor kitten's forced to be regarded as some sort of player.

Also this was interesting enough for the morning radio to discuss I mean you can just tell how much the media loves manwhore-styles I mean I can't smdh.

one day, maybe next week

1D post so uh..you know what that means??
Run. Run very far away & never come back.

TMH world tour has officially started dO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
More Larry moments captured on gifs omggg can't wait please tour Larry is the best Larry.
Bless all these people video-ing everything tahnk youuuuuu.

Also, who gave them permission to sING THE I WANNA HOLD YOU TIGHT DUET IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER WHO GAVE THEM THE ABSOLUTE RIGHT.

And.
Why.
Are these.
On so many.
Fashion/hipster blogs.
Why.

Why do you have a picture of tattoos Harry got for Louis & himself on your blog when you do not even know about the existence of this ship.

On how many hipster blogs has this picture been on without anyone knowing that's frickin Harry & Louis right there.

Why is there a photoshopped picture of Harry and Cara on fashion blogs.
Do they not know this is fake.
(I checked the notes I swear I was hoping maybe this came from a 1D blog at least but no are people legitimately that.)
Plus do they not know they never dated.
Do they even know who they reblogged.
Or did they just think oh this looks good yeah.
(Because is it just me who feels guilty when I reblog something without knowing its history, since I feel like I have no right to do that.)
Can I laugh then die.
Because srsly.
Srsly.
Seriously.

Of course I still believe Harry and Louis are in a relationship.
They are in the closet but the door is so wide open.
And I swear.
They will come out some day.
Next month, next year, ten years later, idk.
But they will come out.
And the day they do, I promise nothing - and I mean nothing - can touch me.

Reasons why I still don't want to be considered part of the 1D fandom even though I really am but I'm really not:
Directioners vs Non-Directioners.
Tumblr Directioners vs Facebook Directioners.
Larry shippers vs non-Larry shippers.
Larry shippers vs Elounor shippers.
Shippers vs shippers.
Tops vs bottoms.
If I count myself in, then I'll officially be involved with all this and all this is overwhelming.

Okay but really why.
Why.
Why.
Why are any of the boys on any of those blogs.
Why.

Even though yeah I know Harry puts male models to shame and none can be prettier than Louis or Zayn I know.

Rant may or may not be over.
I am just so annoyed.
It is of such trivial standards but it is so vexing.

PLUS WHICH PART ODF HARRY IS IN LOVE WITH LOUIS AND DOES NOT CARE ABOTU ANY OF THEM OTEHR GIRLS DO YOUN OT UDNERSTSAND.

no i guess not looks like i'll have to fix that obSOLETE BLOODY MINDSET OF YOURS.

please i'm sorry if i were offensive it's just ya know.
no this isnt drected at you its just to let off steam.
and let you see what i bloody see ok.