?!?!?!

When I'm stressed + nervous

I listen to a song that just makes you melt, you know? The one that makes you want to lose yourself, just mix with the music. The one that still has that degree of heart brokenness(Is there such a word?) somehow, hidden within minutes of hardcore beats.

Bleh.

Dear ----,

YOU SOUND LIKE A DESPO RETARD YOU KNOW?!?!?!

With all my heart,
Me

It's December soon!

I haven't even finished 50% of my homework!

I've done Math and Malay paper 2, but not much after that. :0 Must start pushing myself already. :/ 'Cause I told myself I wanted to finish up everything by December so..

What to do during the holidays:
- Finish all the homework
- Listen to that darn audiobook already
- Colour in my colouring books. (:
- Plan all sleepovers
- Get stationery so that I can write again. [Lost my dear black pen ):<]
- Get myself to wake up at 8am everyday
- Listen to all those new songs I've always wanted to listen to and add to playlists
- Read all 3 library books
- Read Eng & Lit books
- Read A Little Princess

What? I needed to catch up on my reading..

Don't be sad. ):

):

Sigh. That's all for now.

According to Alvin Sir, it's gonna rain tomorrow with thunder after 4.

How horrid!

My week's going downhill very fast.

I haven't finished up any homework, I've been lazing around all day, and now some weather forecast predicts wet weather on the day of the parade & BBQ.

FML.

Ok.

I really, officially, hate you. Thanks.

If I could know one thing, anything at all in the world.

I would want to know who loves me as much as I love them.

(As a friend, duh.)

I don't like having so many mosquito bites.

They are everywhere. D:

And I mean, everywhere.

I don't like people who keep on emoing.

Just don't spread that negative air, please!

I don't like it when you think something is right but it is wrong.

Especially when it comes to friendships.

You just don't know if you really do mean as much to someone as they do to you, you know?

Then things happen.. You get bouts of jealousy.. You start to hate..

Blah blah blah..

I don't like camwhores.

Uh, I mean those people who keep taking pictures of themselves. ALL the TIME. It's just so.. so.. irritating!

It's as if they're so full of themselves and they just keep on shoving their faces into yours, even after 50 endless pics.

Gah, save me!

Have I told you that I don't like you?

Ok. So.

I really really really really really really really really really REALLY don't like you.

There. Now I have.

WHEN PEOPLE SAY THEY'RE BORED..

..they mean it.

Shut up and put your money where your mouth is

HAHA I had lots of fun today! :D
Thanks Alyssa, Jan, Miselle, Xuan Yi! (:

HP 7 was quite.. unsatisfying! It's so short!! ):
And the part where Dobby died, though expected, was so SAD. I think I cried. ):
He was too adorable..

Anyway, today saw me eating too much ice-cream! :D
Strawberry cheesecake and white chocolate raspberry. P:
Yummy flavours.

And I borrowed an audio book from the library.
It's titled 'Mom Still Likes You Best'.
I'm expecting to enjoy it 'cause it's about the psychology of siblings relations. (:
I love psychology and I love figuring why my sisters and brother act towards each other the way they do.
So I think I will like it very much.

Gah. Better start finishing up my UIP A4 and Camp Report. (:
And also all my homework.
Want to finish everything by December.
(Highly impossible.)

Hehe, BYE!

._.

Can't believe I'm stalking the VIs. That's what boredom does to me.

Every door you enter, I will let you in

And I saw a lovely lovely sunrise yesterday morning. (:

You know that feeling when you get so wonderfully happy because you know that things will go well and nothing could change that fact?

Yeah, this is one of those times. This Saturday will be CS3 for UIP and the Passing Out Parade! I mean, I'm pretty darn nervous but still! It will be GREAT!

And THEN, we're having a BBQ! With both sides of the family so it would be HUGE. Ah! Can't wait! (:

WHAT A BRILLIANT HOLIDAY!

Step to the beat of my heart..

OMG UIP CAMP WAS SO AWESOME!

(eventhoughIwassoverylateonthefirstdaybecauseofsomejamohmysoembarassing.)

Anyway, it was waaay better than I expected, because I thought I would DIE. Ah, I don't know how to explain this. There's just too much! :S Ok, maybe I say the best parts of each day. :D

I thought first day was the best day of all.
I found a 5 cent coin in the backyard! And I decided immediately it would be my little lucky charm for camp. (:

Confidence runway was fun! (: Everyone had to dress in their best outfit and walk down the runway. I got to walk to Like A G6, how lucky. (: (We should totally do that for June camp next year so it would be more fun.)

We had this super awesome game thing called Exercise Unity where everyone was broken up into 14 different groups made up of people from the 3 different specs. And we were supposed to escape from a dangerous war zone to a safe area. And lucky me had Amanda in the same group!! Ah! Finally, you know, some company after being so alone.. Since Jan had Xuan Yi and Alyssa had Amanda and vice versa.

Yeahyeah, ok. So Exercise Unity was something that interested me because it included little activities from the 3 different specs. Like, you need to build a bridge(OA), evacuate casualties(Evac), command a squad(FD) and the people specializing in the diff specs cannot do their specific activities. Plus many others. And the best part was it had a storyline! How interesting yes? And it was late at night so it was very dark and that was what made it so awesome. :D (We should totally do that for next year's June camp too!)

Ok, so Day 2 was nice too. Went for a Hike and made a catapult using poles and strings, how interesting. :D

And the campfire was great! Haha! Aisyah Ma'am and Marsya Ma'am came down and we got to have a 'slack' dinner where you can catch up with your batchmates. And we did! (: I was so glad.

Oh, and I finally got to have a bath because I didn't on day 1. I have to admit, I took my time. (Heh.) Because 1, the bathroom wasn't crowded. And 2, the water was so.. lovely.

By Day 3, I really felt quite at home at the campsite. Heh.
And, ooh. One more lucky thing happened to me! When Hadi Sir borrowed my manual, he left something in there. :0 He left the proposed list of lanyard receivers for OA and Evac. :O So.. I accidentally saw some names. But I returned it anyway. :/

Darn, I have so much to do! A UIP Report, and A4's lesson plan. ): That's a lot.
Sigh. Never mind. I can really say that I've learnt so so much. And since they kept drilling OA skills and knowledge and you have to teach it anyway, I can actually remember stuff. :D

I am really glad I signed up. :]

And since I had less than 8 hours of sleep overall, Papa allowed me to have a nice long one yesterday from 4pm till 9am today.

Haha, this is loong. But I really don't know how else to say I enjoyed UIP very much.

OA UIP ROCKS TTM!

:D Kay that's all!

>:(

It's definitely not a good time. NOT a good time. NOT.

So tired. :/

I really really really really want camp to be over soon. Because I'm so utterly nervous. Bleh.

Yeahyeah anyway, I realized today that I am a very possesive person. So that's why I'm pretty selfish too. Yar.

You know I'm REALLY jittery for the camp, right? Have I told you that?

And I give up on the pet peeve challenge. ._.

Yeah. Ok. Goodnight. Better start finishing my MT work and SS. And start on EL & (Half) Lit.

I really wanted to do Romeo & Juliet. ): It's ok, though. I won't mind full geog. Would I? :/

Yeah, I'm not supposed to use the laptop, but then again, I'm never one to follow punishment rules. And technically, I'm at no fault whatsoever. (:

Goodnight.

Do you want to know what I REALLY want?

An apology. A sincere one.

This.. thing here doesn't even bother.

Look. I've already had to deal with one immature toddler.

And you KNOW that.

But.

And you just HAD to add on to the list, right?

Really.

What emotions have you garnered so far?

No, I don't see anything.

1. You have dragged me into this. WHAT ON EARTH DID I DO TO HAVE ME IN THIS SITUATION?

2. You disgraced yourself, us, in public. Are you seriously THAT stupid? Look, I know Math and Science simply fails you, but really. Making yourself sound like a self-centered, whiny, spoilt brat?

3. I do not deserve to be punished alongside you. I have enough sense to act in a proper manner.

Want a timeline?

l-----------------------------------l --------------------------------------------------l
(Slip)___________________(Scolding)___________________ (End of punishment)

l-----------------------------------l---------------------------------------------------l
(I didn't know of anything) <- (I was only informed then) Period of unjust punishment->

You say it's a lesson. And I should have talked to her.

HOW do I do that when I did not even KNOW it existed, huh? So. What am I punished for, really?

Whatever, I won't mind if I get grounded and am not allowed to use the laptop. (I'm breaking the rules, so what.)

But the fact that she does not even bother? REALLY? Is she that insensitive?

No sincere 'sorry'? The only sorry-s came after she got slapped, that b. They were forced and so emotionless.

Trying to save face only.

How many times this year have I encountered people like this?

I just need to escape.

And no, I'm sorry, but no one will be able to hear me out on this one.

I don't even know where I stand, or what I really want.

I need a break.

Haha, my mentor is so nice! He sends us long, detailed e-mails on what to bring for camp, how to improve on our lessons, you get the gist.

Am not too looking forward to camp, though. I have no idea what to expect. Excited? Maybe, I don't know. Nervous? Very much, yes.

At least I have that time to forget about anything else but RC and OA and lesson plans and campsite friends. I'll need that.

I wish I lived in a mental hospital. Then whatever I do there won't matter because they'll just dismiss it as 'crazy'.

Poppin bottles in the club like the Far East Movement!!!!

Love the remix with Three 6 Mafia.

Yep, anyway. I feel somewhat accomplished today for I had done most of my Math. (Left only last 2 questions, yay!) Very little done, I know! D:

And I have the lesson plan to do also, plus the THREE teaching aids, of which ONLY ONE will be used. =.=

By Tuesday.

GAH.

Looks like I must up my game tomorrow.

I was reading the whole of my private blog yesterday night. From it, I can say that somehow, I saw how my feelings and perspectives towards people and problems changed over the course of a few months. It was..nice.

Do you know how it feels like to have this.. weird.. queer.. flurry.. of feelings in you?

Know what? I'm just gonna continue drowning myself with the loud throbbing beat of Like A G6 and try to forget everything while playing Papa's Pizzeria and Mall World.

Bye.

Pet Peeve 9: People who don't pay back the money they owe. >:(

Huh!

WHATEVER.

You are SO biased.

SO VERY biased.

Irresponsible?

Really, now.

My secret's out, it's been hidden in my heart

I've taken a sudden liking to Vanessa Hudgens songs. :/

Anyway, I am quite tired. UIP today was...

And. My. Pants. Tore. A. Big. Big. BIG. Hole. How. Embarassing.

All I want to do is just sleep.

Pet Peeve 8: People who use thigns without my permission irritate me.

Choices

Ahaha. My combi is C3. Come on. I didn't even OPT for C3. My choices are like only.

C2C1B2B1D2D1

Where did C3 come from?

Full Geog.

Really, now.

Then again, what if I suddenly decide next year that I hate Shakespeare?? Then how?

What if I appeal, then I get Full Lit, then suddenly I HATE Full Lit, and then what?

But then again.

What if I appeal, and get it, and ENJOY it?

And if I don't, I'll never know.

))):

Did you know that I'm a very very very bad person?

T.T

I worry that my Lesson Plan for UIP will not be good enough.

I worry that the people in my group are actually great at these kind of assignments though quiet.

I worry that stage fright might overcome me on Saturday.

I worry that nothing would be adequate.

Sigh. Worry worry worry.

UIP so.. intensive.

Fun, yes. But takes lots of effort.

Afraid I can't make it.

Darn.

Pet Peeve 7

I hate it when people don't finish up those last few grains of rice on their plates. Just 3 grains left! Why not eat them all?

I just feel guilty.

So very guilty.

Am I being selfish?

Pet Peeve 6

Spammers. Look at my tagboard. I have no idea who this Herald person is. GTH.

I want to die. I want to die, die, die.

Yay. We had a fight. Kind of. Passive aggresive counts, right?

Can't blame me. (Or can you?)
It was an unlucky day.
That was MY cd which I got for MY hard work.
She canNOT just take it without my permission, can she?
NO.

Yet, she did.
And she transferred it to iTunes.

I've deleted it.
She doesn't know.

Sisters are wonderful people

HAHAHA yesterday Anis and I were doing crazy crazy stuff around midnight.

We were, firstly, arguing about The Titan's Curse book. (Apparently, she wants to finish reading it first. But I've finished it already so whatever.) But it was a different fight because I couldn't stop laughing I do'nt know why, so it was a funny argument.

Then she started singing the offical Gummy bear song that we made up, and then I remembered I had the packet from RI inter-unit, haha. OK. It may not sound funny, but it IS/WAS.

I think I'll do my HMT. I didn't do ANYTHING yesterday, lazy pig.

Pet Peeve 5: I don't like it when I'm bored and there's nothing to eat.

Pet Peeve 4

Egoistic attitude? I mean, I won't mind if it's playful or whatever. But you know, don't say that you are a wonderful dresser if you dress like you're going to the fish market when you are really going to ION.

:L

Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?

I'd never been that full. DX

A full plate of nasi briyani from some wedding reception we had to attend first.
Another plate full of desserts.
Many many scoops of ice-cream at Swensen's.
Half a plate of Spaghetti to wash it all down.

What was I? Crazy?
Wonder how much calories I've taken in today. >.< Bleh.
(I say much, not many, 'cause I bet the amount's uncountable.)
Tomorrow I guess I'll start on my HMT homework, then, my math. Oh man. ):
But Ima study at the Patio! :D At least that would be fun, yes?

Pet Peeve 3: If you cannot pronounce French words properly, please don't even attempt to. Eg. Excusez-moi is NOT the same as 'excusay MOY'. It's more like, 'excusay-mwah'. Yeah? That guy from UIP on Saturday should read this. :/

I need to be with myself in center, clarity, peace and serenity

Show me some positivity!

Haha! Today was UIP! I survived the first day despite going mad this morning and the night before because I lost my OA Silver Accred Sheet. =.= Which, in the end, wasn't needed at all. (So I slept at 12.30am yesterday trying to search for it and had a nightmare about some psycho serial killer because of all that worry in my heart for nothing. =.=)

ANYWAY! It was honestly more fun than expected. I mean, I was very nervous for UIP OA 'cause there was no one else going with me due to the trauma by OA silver. But then, it turned out wonderful. I made new friends and uh, I learned new stuff! (Sounds cliche, doesnt it? But it's true!) It was a great day. There was always something to do, something new to learn, things to write, so much that time passed by so fast and an hour felt like 15 minutes, truly.

But I'm still a bit worried for the camp. OMG. D: Yeah. But I'm expecting the next few contact sessions to be as awesome. (:

Maybe UIP wasn't so bad because I had brought my locket with my lucky leaf in it as a charm. (: (Or maybe it was just me.)

Poor Alyssa. ): Please don't be sad! You did great today and accidents happen and I'm sure she is nice enough to forgive you, 'cause she's human, just like you, and humans make mistakes. Don't be too harsh on yourself, little pet!

YAY! YAY YAY YAY! I'm actually quite happy. All I have to do now is plan out my homework schedule for the week. (Maybe complete all homework by end of week? OH, except for LIT. There's too much to do for EL & Lit.) YAY!

Tomorrow's Papa's birthday! We're having a Swensen's ice-cream buffet at ION! YAY! I will wear my golden locket. Gah, better think of what to wear.

I had a great dinner. (Made me feel guilty, all that roasted chicken, but still.)

The perfect end to this almost-perfect day would be an early bedtime. I'm soo tired.

YAY!

Pet Peeve 2: DO NOT EVER SEPARATE ME FROM MY FAMILY ON ESCALATORS. DO. NOT. EVER. DO. THAT.

"I shall die presently."

FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..................................................

"0

I am deeply embarrassed.

Anyway, today I went to Paragon with my family and then to Nyai's house. (: It was SO fun! (Despite the car ride being a bit of a squeeze because we used Mama's car because it was the one with working air-con so yah.)

We got lots of gifts for Papa because his birthday's coming! On Sunday! 7/11/2010! (HAHA, 7/11 geddit?) And when I say 'lots of gifts', I mean, LOTS of gifts.

Andandand I got this gorgeous new pen. And this even more lovely golden locket in the shape of a book. I've longed for a locket for a very long time now, and I've finally gotten one! (Actually, I'd bought one in P5 in Australia, but it was one of those cheapskate ones from Target. =.=)

I'm really happy with it. But I don't know whose pictures I should put in. Hm.

Andand I am really quite perplexed.
I'm slim enough so that my hip bones and ribcage kind of sticks out, and I'm only.. 42kg?
But I still have this an-noying single spare tyre that won't go away, and my arms and legs are.. not as small as I would want them to be.
It's really.. confusing.

I shall take on the Pet Peeve challenge thing. Ha.

Pet Peeve 1:
When I help to keep the door open specifically for MY family to get through, then some other random people walk through too, but they don't say 'thank you' and just rush off. Who am I? Your freaking doorman?! At least say thanks or give a smile lah. Sheesh.

Peach Blossom Marle (:

Was the best day of the holidays so far. Oh goodness, I SWEAR I laughed too much today.

With the cotton candy clouds lazing in the vast blue ocean of nothingness, and the sparkling, rolling sky underneath.
With the sound of waves crashing onto the golden shore, and peals of laughter coming fom all sides.
With the sights of people resting under shady trees, and children running on the sand.

How can it not be a perfectly relaxing day?
How can one not be in such a state of calm?

Nicci climbing a tree.
Nicci: I always do that when I go to East Coast.
Amanda: No wonder she likes bananas so much!
Haha!

And her lovely gold paint which she talked about so much I finally gave in to curiosity and let her paint 'I <3 SCRCY' on my left arm after she painted hers, and had then continued to paint a couple other arms.

And the incomplete yet charming castles dedicated for Jan's YKW and mine. (They WERE built with love!)

And that long barricade we built to keep the sea water out so that our darling towers wouldn't get washed away. The one Miselle said looked like 'the Great Wall of China'. The one that the ocean finally took back anyway.

And that board game I am so unfamiliar with, the one Nicci and Alyssa kept playing, and Alyssa kept winning. The one with cookie look-a-like pieces.

And cycling lessons by Amanda and Jan for Nicole and Xuan Yi, from which Nicole progresed so fast. (I do not quite think I will EVER learn to cycle!)

And Xuan Yi's peculiar attraction to random guys. (ie. Guy who helped push her on the bicycle.)

And that 'cool surfer dude' we kept seeing, and cheering for. The one with the orange surf board, who always stood in a spot and waited for The Right Wave, always crashing into the water when he did catch one.

And the sendiments-filled waves drenching our pants/shorts whenever we squatted a little too near the water, or when the waves just got a little too playful.

See? I AM happy today. (:
Woah, Miselle finished Sections A & B of the SS homework already! DD:
I WILL start tomorrow, after cleaning my room.
And I SWEAR that the seawater completely healed the cut I got from Coco's bite on my left foot yesterday.