all these screams, all these voices in my head

I need to get a grip on myself.
I can feel it - something's wrong with me.
I can't place it, but it's there.
Something about me is not normal.

I want to write down whatever it is that is preoccupying my mind, but I can't.

There's so much, and.

And in all honesty, I know deep inside me, I won't reveal all that because I worry that I am only anxious over insignificant things.

I don't want to expose myself just yet.

But anyway, I need to focus.

Half the time during classes I find myself drifting, floating to God-knows-where, and when I realize that I snap and try to shake it off, but that feeling always comes back.

Something's possessing my mind and I can't make it go away.

I can't concentrate on what I'm doing.

I don't understand my lessons any more.

I can't carry out simple tasks properly.

I can't even do mental addition because there is always that thing stopping me from thinking clearly.

That thing?

I don't know what it is.

And that feeling of hopelessness and excessive guilt over..nothing!

By nothing I mean things that are so minor you have no reason to fret over them but they stir up such anxiety in me.

Please, please, I'm so scared of myself right now I don't know what I'm going to do.

I can't even talk about this to anyone, as much as I want to, as much as I need to, because I don't even know what I am to talk of.

I don't know what is it that is throwing daggers into my mind.

Ahh no.

Stop.

Ok.

Done.

I'm done with trying to explain myself.

This is going nowhere.

Done, done, I'm out.

It's funny how you could always make me feel small.