Today was crazy.
Every single minute in school I spent getting ravaged from my insides with the monsters of them want and need and longing.
I could just feel them, the talons that tore me apart.
Tracing themselves lightly on my skin, making me shiver with anticipation and then ruthlessly piercing some part of it, stabbing me without remorse.
Making me bleed invisible blood, making me want to cry with frustration.
So close, you are so close.. the talons had lips that sneered and taunted.
Then they clasped around my neck and I couldn't breathe.
They had me so well.
And suddenly they slithered into my throat, smothering my windpipe and destroying me from within.
Only in your dreams, you slut.. they hissed once more.
All I wanted to do was shut my ears and eyes and drown everything out, all those horrid things the demon was saying.
But I couldn't shut out what was in me.
And it was true anyway, what it said.
It would never happen, why would I think that?
So it burgeoned from that, and flourished and prospered like bacteria in my head.
I am frustrated and tortured.
Nothing can keep this away.
Nothing but what it is that I want.
And I know that I will never in a million decades get it.
I will be abandoned with the arduous task of having to suck it up and deal with that.
It will never happen.
But that just makes me want it more.
And so the freak in me thrives.
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