I see the pain hidden in your pride

So this was what broke me.
Yes I'm broken.
I cannot do this anymore.
Shielding everything behind some fake-ass smile?
I just did that the whole of today.
Can someone explain that?
Why?
Why am I doing this?
Going back to not eating?
No, seriously?

But what made me think I can keep this up forever?
What made me think I was such a wonderful student?

And no, look here, woman.
Fuck you.
How dare you make me feel like this?

And if you're telling me to get help, to talk about it.
I can't.
Okay.
It's hard to expose yourself when you are that insecure.
You think crazy stuff like what if all my problems are just minor shit I'm obsessing over for nothing.
Hence, I won't talk about this outside this place.
I just..ah.

And what if the thing that you have to destroy, the one that is destroying you..is yourself?