nothing but a one-man cult

Man, I'm bummed.
School starts in a few days and.
Damn.

Well I thought I'd have a lot to write and I thought it would easily pour out but I guess not.

I have gotten quite used to this life, for it so lovely and slow and somewhat idyllic.
I've spent my days reading and writing and listening and reading.
If there is anything I've discovered about myself over these lazy months, it is that I fall in love so easily with books and words.
Which really does explain why libraries are dangerous - I can leave with unplanned stacks of books.
(I do not think I can be one to say I have not just borrowed seven books all at once in a fit of madness.)
But books.
I mean.
Books.
Does anything sound better?
(No.)
I'd rather have endless supplies of books in favour of endless supplies of cash.
And I think I'd be that one quirky person in the library you'll see rambling down aisles of bookshelves with a hand out lovingly caressing every book as she passes.
Quirky, but nice.

I've also started to write all those beautiful paragraphs I find in books and fics in this most beautiful book I've gotten.
Best. Idea. I've. Ever. Had.
I've put in those ocean sequence snippets, too and finally, I feel some sort of sated feeling.
Nothing like feeling the words come into physical existence from your pen and wow, the weight is now permanent in that book and no longer on your mind and wow.
It feels so good you don't even know.

I've been acquainting myself with albums by Ed Sheeran and One Direction (both UAL and TMH yeah I know right srsly what so much so that I can actually differentiate their voices right now ikr what srsly yeah woah) and soon I will too with Frank Ocean's.
YAY.
YES I have Channel Orange now I feel quite at peace.
I haven't listened to it yet, though; it is not the right time yet.
Tomorrow night, maybe, when conditions are just right.

I think I'll miss the long nights the most when school comes into full swing and they become obsolete.
Nights are best for being alone and doing things you want to do without interruptions or having to deal with people and their caprices.
Really, that's the only reason I've been staying up so late every night.
You do what you want, and no one can tell you off because they're all asleep.
And I really, genuinely think I can live alone.

I've also been crying a lot, especially for things of such wonderfully amazing beauty because ya know, pent up emotions and the drear necessity of having to contain love for such beautiful things.
I don't know why but it really feels good.
Like that time when I was at the mosque that day and one of the ustaz couldn't be there for one of the lessons (I think they're called lessons I really dk) and a young boy took his place.
Young as in he-hasnt-even-broken-his-voice young.
Keep in mind that this is an official event in the Sultan Mosque on the famous Arab Street, with hundreds of people of all ages present.
And I mean.
He's not even a teenager and god.
His name is Harith, and he makes me cry because he just does.
Bless his soul, really.
He's even done the azan once and his voice is so beautiful and melodious and it's the azan fgs it requires training to perfect it and he already has and he hasn't reached puberty and I'm just me and he's just so..wow.
Another time I cried too was when I was watching a video of a lady I don't even know announcing the gender of her unborn baby.
I mean.
I am just so happy for her and.
And she is so happy and she's got the second little boy she's always wanted now and.
Life is so beautiful really.

Can't.
I really can't oh god.
:'(
:')

But a sad reason for my tears would be that Harry and Louis aren't allowed to look at each other for an extended period of time in public did you know that?
Louis had also just gotten a sparrow tattoo tell me how many couple tattoos do they have to have before people stop thinking it's a coincidence and start seeing that they are really in a relationship right now smdh.

Still can't oh god crying just..crying.
But sometimes it feels good to cry so I don't mind.

Okay it's 12am now I meant to sleep earlier to accustom myself to early hours again but oh well.
I guess I'll just sleep now.
Goodnight to you too.