on birthdays being deathdays, too

I do not know her, and yet I do, so the news hits a little close to home.

No, it actually hits really close to home, because.

I don't know, it just elicits a million questions and imagines.

How was she feeling when it happened?

On which round of the track was she?
(The 10th, 11th? The last one, maybe? Perhaps she was that close?)

Was she thinking about the pizza and ice-cream she would have later that night, or the birthday cake?

Was she thinking, I hate running and I want to go home, like I do whenever I run?

Or, it's my birthday, I can't actually be doing this right now, can I?

Did she wake up on that morning giddy with both excitement and dread?

Did she know?

She got 257 for her PSLE; she must be in SY, or CO at least.

It happened 08 35; SY/CO has PE first period Wednesdays.

Is the PE department presently plagued with guilt?
Do you think the senior red crossers were alerted and called down to help?
The PE lesson, was it stopped?

Did it hurt?
Did she know?

Did she manage a tiny prayer before her soul was pulled out of her body?
I hope it was done gently.

I hope she wasn't scared.

I hope she is well in the grave.

I hope she's been a soul good enough for the angels in there to not punish her.

I will keep you in my prayers, Nur Aisyah Ismail, insya Allah.

Don't be scared in there, answer the questions with heart.

Remember Allah swt.

You are 13, He must have loved you so much that he claimed you once more thirteen years after your mother gave you birth.

I pray that her family is well and coping with the loss with strength.

I am just so, so sad, but this reminds me time and time again that no one knows when you will go.

I may well die this evening, on the way to French class, and would I be prepared for that?
For my time in the grave?
Because I know right now, I am not.

Maybe this is Allah's way of reminding me to always be a good Muslim, and to never forget that whatever happens, I will always return to Him.

How is she; how is she?