Dear Fulscap paper,
Today I feel so damn angry and frustrated. Today I did Footdrill with levelmates of course. Nicci was tutoring me. Then, halfway, Jayasree came. Then N said, "Why didn't you come for FD?" She said oh so indifferently, "Oh, Carlyn dragged me to recess, like this." And then she dragged MY arm. When I was trying to do FD. Nice. So then we continued FD.
Then this retarded freak from I-also-don't-know-where started saying things like, "Oh, you're on the wrong foot," and "wrong timing!" and even "why you move so much?" Kpo son of a cat The last three words were edited to censor the super vulgar word. She's not even in RC FGS! for goodness' sake Freaking outsiders. So I decided to 'fall out' and join Nicolette's little skuad. But I was afraid to annoy her(because of my horrible FD). SO never mind. Anyway, I tried complaining to Alyssa. She kept saying "Relax, relax! OK I GET IT OK I GET IT OK I GET IT OK I GET IT OK I GET IT!!"
Note: When I'm complaining in a hurt and frustrated manner, NEVER say 'relax', 'chill', 'cool down', 'calm down', etc. I will feel worse, way worse and more angry/frustrated/sad/upset. I am trying to get my feelings out and you want to keep them in me? >:( At least on paper, no one can stop MY ventings. What I need, really, is just a hug, even if it lasts one second, and "It's alright it's really gonna be alright" to go with it.
Ok ANYWAY, I managed to release some anger out to Nicole, but it went back into me because she ended it abruptly. Don't know why.
I was angry. Nobody noticed me. Nobody comforted me. Even when I grabbed my things noisily. Even when I rushed past them all. Even when I DRAGGED.
I feel so melancholic right now. I hate my levelmates.
I miss my levelmates.
Sigh... This time round Ms Cramps did not come. But the substitute teacher was Mr Mood Extreme Swings. Is that good or bad? Which is better? Please tell me what you think. <:) I hope I return to normal soon. I hate hating my very best friends.
BTW, I REALLY do NOT hate you dear levelmates. Just that... I don't KNOW!! I'm sorry if you feel offended if you read this post but I hope that you'll understand me better if I just talk straight. That's all. But I still love you.
Who am I living for?
Is this my limit?
Can I endure some more?
Chances I'm given,
Question Existing.
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